When You aren't where you need to be, in regards to the mentality you are going to need to lose the weight...
I was thinking about this today while doing many things.
(like coming in under 1500 calories, doing one hour on the elliptical, 150 situps and my upper body with weights, I took yesterday off from the gym So today was a wednesday workout and I will be working out on Saturday as well.)
About why my journey has been different this time. (It's for life)
About what kind of mental work I had done to get to the point where I was ready to ditch the weight. (oodles)
And the first thing I had to do to even get out of the gate..
I had to lay aside my expectations.
The first thing that makes me wary when reading a blog is expectations of what life will be like "When they are thin."
I am sure we have all done this.
I know I used to.
When I am thin I will be
have fewer troubles
will be more loveable
will fart rainbows and sneeze sunshine.
Every previous weight loss attempt had an 'end date'.
By october I should weigh ___________
*Insert weight there*
I mean, I would start a diet (that's another warning sign...diets...special ones...)
with the expectation that I would lose the weight for good by a certain and specific date, and the heavens would part, all my troubles would melt away, and I would magically become someone worth knowing.
I would get 20 or 30 lbs in, I would not get the support I felt I needed (more expectations)...or no one would notice, or the reason for starting would come and go (a special event)...and along with it...my motivation would just up and leave.
Because the motivation would be external.
I would have people say "You have to do it for you."
I always thought they were full of crap.
I mean, If you can't do it for your kids...who can you do it for!?
Your kids will love you either way.
If you are doing it for your spouse, what if your spouse pulls a fast one and suddenly decides the new, skinnier you is making them uncomfortable?
(That happened to me half way through...He got uncomfortable with the new, more assertive me and started trying to sabotague me...now he is more comfortable again.)
If pleasing him was the only reason, I would have quit right there.
If it was losing weight before going to see my family again...well, I went back and saw my family.
Now would be the time to stop.
The external motivation leaves.
The motivation has to be internal.
And the farther I go, the less weight related I think it is.
It isn't about the weight....well, at least not all of it.
I am not at a place where my weight is threatening my life anymore.
I think this whole journey boils down to
WHO YOU WANT TO BE.
Stay with me here:
Imagine you are ashamed of your weight.
It makes you feel ill and tired and hopeless.
You try to lose weight to please others, but fail.
The food always wins...
Heck it may even be killing you, giving you diabetes...etc.
Your fat might be pulling double duty.
It may be protecting you...not conciously, but subconciously.
If you're weight is tied up in hiding parts of you that you don't want others to see...or the food is protecting you from having to feel....or is keeping others at bay so you don't have to deal.
Then external motivators aren't going to work and any sort of internal motivation will be sabotagued...unless you find a reason BIGGER than the obstacles that are holding you back.
I found my motivator...I had several things happen to me that brought me to this realization....
I am dying.
Do I mean I have a terminal illness?
I mean we are all dying.
I have maybe 40 good years left if I am lucky...(hopefully a bit more if God will grant them)
As I stood there in build a bear I looked at myself and I asked myself:
Is this what I want my life to be defined by?
Do I want to live half a life?
Is this the example I want to set for my children?
Is this the person I want to be?
The answer to those questions was NO!
Every day since has been the first day of the rest of my life.
It was bigger to me than the comfort food gave me.
It was bigger than the fear I had of being seen.
It was bigger than anything.
My reason was life.
I wanted to take what life I had left and believe that I could make it beautiful. That I could make it what I wanted.
That I could either release all the fear, or that I would feel the fear and still live life fully anyways.
After all, I had lived for years with no expectations whatsoever.
What was the worst that could happen?
I would fail?
So, right then and there I let go of every expectation I had of how much weight I would lose and how long it would take.
It didn't matter if it took one year or ten years.
I would eat my calories and exercise.
If I never lost a pound at least I knew I tried.
I wasn't going to die a quitter.
Or even worse, a non starter...
So, if you have all your hopes tied up in being thin to live the life you want.
Then you are putting your hopes in an exterior motivator.
That's a flag.
Start living the life you want now.
Why start now?
Because every day that you let go by without giving it all you've got is a wasted day.
tick tock, tick tock.
You don't get that time back.
Once it's gone IT. IS. GONE.
Let go of that time frame.
There is no time frame on becoming the person you want to be.
I am not perfect,
Sometimes I get ahead of myself.
Sometimes I get anxious.
When I do this, I knock myself back mentally to day one, year zero.
I was continually reminding myself that every day is day one, year zero.
Every day you create the world anew with your intentions.
What you did yesterday is in the history books...tomorrow is unwritten.
All you really are given is today.
So step one...
Know your own reason.
And remove time frames.
It's for life, Your life.
Have a great night guys,