8.09.2010

HDC day 16- Motivation and we have a winner.

Hey all,
It's the red dress 23-7.
Thanks for participating. I spent the last hour picking out my hair do.
What is the special occasion?
Well, I'll tell you, it's going to a nice restaurant with my husband.
It's date night for us.
Why am I putting so much effort in.
Well,
A.) I haven't ever before.
not even on my wedding day. I had a sundress...
I picked my flowers from the side of the road.
I didn't appreciate my weight at the time, (138lbs)
I didn't appreciate myself.
I didn't appreciate being a girl.
Doing girly things.
looking pretty.
I never have.
All those things most girls do when they are teenagers, I didn't do.
For many reasons.
I was poor, I was at times overweight...
I was afraid of men.
I didn't want to be noticed.
I thought that even if I tried I would not look pretty anyways so what was the point.
I had an idea of what beautiful was and I wasn't it.

B.) We are going to dinner and we are going to meet up with one of tim's old Army buddies.
All his old buddies remember me fat.
This is going to be fun.

C.) Every day for me is a special occasion.
I don't want to miss one.more.day acting like it isn't.
I know people lament the fact that they didn't get it sooner.
Getting healthy, getting their lives together.
But I made a decision to not let regret mar the rest of my life.
I was lucky to catch it at all.
So why sit around wasting time worrying about what I missed.
Do that, and I just miss more.

Somebody asked me to blog about consistency...
how to be consistent.
But, i don't think consistency is the issue...it's a symptom.

To be consistent you need only one thing.
A reason.
When I say my flip switched ,I mean it switched.
One minute food was it...
it was the most important thing.
The next food was what had kept me from living life to it's full potential.
Food was eating my soul.

That's the best way I can put it.

my motivation.
To get my life back.
Or to get a life I knew was possible, because I could see it all around me..
it was being lived by people a lot shallower and more petty and mean spirited than I.
Was I not intelligent?
Was I not capable?
YES!

What was going to stop me?
Nothing.

What is your motivation for losing the weight.
IF it's external...if it's anything outside of yourself and what you want for your life..
I hate to say this, but you will fail.

because the externals change.
You say I want to do it for my kids.
Well, that's great...but it isn't enough.
You really want to do it so you can be a mother that isn't held back by her body.
Your kids will love you either way.
It has to be something YOU WANT.
If you know what you want, and WHY YOU WANT IT..
consistency isn't an issue.
If your consistency is lacking.
Check your motivation.

in under with the cals...and one big ole kick @ss workout puts me in at 700 calories burned baby.
Be back tomorrow...
Big hugs,
Chris

12 comments:

Deb Willbefree said...

What I want to know is--How can you be sooo right, sooo often? chuckle.

This post is right on and something we all need to be reminded of regularly.

Thanks.

Deb

And have fun!

Julie, The Accidental Fat Chick said...

Very well said... its so important to embrace the time we have and not cry over wasted time. And yes, you will fail every time unless you're doing it for you. Not to say you won't have limited for short term success, but I totally believe that to have lasting, long term success you have to do it for you!

MargieAnne said...

Wow! You've brought tears to my eyes. Sweet tears.

Transformation that's beautiful.

I'm so glad you discovered the feminine you, the one who wants to be all she can be and have all she can have.

I want to see the look on the faces of those men. It would be priceless. I can see your husband sticking his chest out with pride and saying, or at least wanting to, ... 'You didn't see what I saw, what I knew was inside my beautiful wife.'

Transformation brings so many challenges and this one is full of delight. Enjoy every moment.

Crazy Fat Girl said...

Hi - I have been reading your blog for a couple months now. I love your positive attitude and sense of humor. I have to say, though, that one of the things I am impressed by most is that you are still going. You didn't lose 100 lbs and then say, I'm hot and I am done. You are still going. You have already achieved so much. But no longer are you settling for "good enough." That is something I am finding inspirational today.

Helen said...

Chris, you're able to write these things because of where you were before - the sheer hardness of everyday living. Many folks have it easy and don't fully understand how precious life is until some tragedy befalls them. Thank you for the inspiration, for putting it out there. For simply being you.

Cara @ Between The Before & After said...

I understand your excitement about your date night. My husband and I are getting away for the night soon and I am SO excited! I love this post, it is so true.

Cara :)

Leslie said...

Great post as usual. I can't wait to hear about the reaction from Tim's buddies when they see the new you! Eye popping is what you are - you look fantastic and skinny in the newest pic.

Paula Rodriguez said...

You made me want to cry too. I'm so happy for you Chris for being in and of this world. So many of us side line ourselves.

Being more physically active and eating healthy gives you a real vitality. Something you can't buy. It's something you pickup along the way. I'm lucky I've always had self-confidence in when I was poor, fat, and eating my life away. The switch with food hasn't quite turned on for me but I know I'm getting there.

I was at my sister's 51st birthday and eating a wonderful salad and she commented on how I was eating the salad. Like it was really, really good. My answer? It is really really good. I wanted that salad way more than I wanted the hamburger.

Enjoy your date with the hubby and enjoy feeling wonderful on the outside. I imagine your soul was always beutiful. You just didn't know it.

Hugs
Paula
BTW--you're right. I think I'm taking this hiking to a whole new level. I'm ready to climb that mountain.

Robin said...

I know that you keep saying it over and over in different ways so that people will get it. You had an internal change that produced external results. Unless people have the internal change, nothing can happen on the outside. The brain controls it all. Great post. If you keep saying it different ways, different people will get it at different times. It is kind of the right place at the right time sort of thing.

Joy said...

Have a blast getting ready for your date!! How fun!! I am sure you hubby will be thrilled!!

I agree with you on so many points ~ you are amazing!

Hugs!

M Pax said...

I made that same switch along the way. Somewhere in the middle of the struggle. It made all the difference.

I love that you celebrate everyday. You should Each and every one is a gift. I learned that, too.

I celebrate by going after my dreams. Scary ass sh*t, but I wouldn't have been able to do this without accomplishing the weight issues first.

I learned to no longer let me or anything else stand in my way. I may get knocked around a bit, but that's OK. Because I'll never get what I want if I don't take the risks.

There is no magic, only me. Only you. We determine the magic and our destiny.

Linda Pressman said...

Chris, you're cool. I can't wait to hear about the night out and the friends' reactions! For sure they're going to think you're Tim's girlfriend or something!

I think it's such an important point about understanding how destructive the food is and once we understand that something like that isn't benign, it's not our friend or a solace and we understand that it's actually sucking the life out of us, the relationship we have with it changes. I hate to say it, but that's what happened to me with my ex-husband!