11.27.2009

December 1rst...countdown to the new year.

You'll notice that I stopped counting...I realized I had been counting down to onederland...well, I made it.
So, if you get there you stop counting.
Starting on December 1rst, I am going to count down to the new year. Then I am counting down to our trip back east.

I had an interesting conversation with someone the other day. It irritated me.
Strike that...
It enraged me
I have busted my *ss to get where I am.
This person knows that.
They have this 'idea' that all anyone needs to do is 'listen' to when they are hungry.
This person has never been morbidly obese, ever.
If I even had the slightest ability to discern real hunger and emotional hunger, I never would have gotten to 130 lbs over my ideal weight.
Well, they just stopped eating when they weren't 'hungry' and 'dropped a couple of pants sizes".
GOOD FOR YOU.
Sorry, I can't just 'drop' a couple of pants sizes.
I can't just eat an apple here, or a carrot there.
This is the same person who thinks an alcoholic can drink in moderation.
It . drives. me. INSANE.
I will be seeing this person in a few months.
I sooooo badly want to go in there rocking a size ten minimum...
and then say
that I just
dropped
into
it....
It would definitely take some doing, but nothing gets me going like wanting to pound someone into sand.
This is why I don't compete. I will go until I collapse OR win.
But after that phone call I just wanted to do two hours of cardio and start dropping pounds.
I have key lime pie left and everything else...I didn't touch a thing today.
I have seven months left to bring it, and bring it I will.
I am not going to starve myself.
I am not going to injure myself.
Right now I am 198.
By January 1rst, I want to be 190.
I am hoping to drop 52 lbs by July 18th, 2010.
That would be an average of 2 lbs a week for 6 and a half months. At the end...2 lbs a week would be extremely hard to do...but I might have so much momentum going by then that I would be willing to do a 1200 calorie day...we'll see.
If I lose focus, I could sign up for another 'conversation'....
I am going to focus right now on day by day. Until January 1rst...and then see what my position is. I am ready to drop former fat girl status and enter the green with envy phase of my journey. I don't ever want to listen to someone blather on about their size 14's and tell me how happy they are for my health.
I know this sounds ungrateful...
I can't explain the conversations I have with this person, but the words and the vibes never add up.
If I am in an 8, that shoulder pat ain't gonna happen.
It's on baby.
I hope you guys are primed, locked and loaded.
Hugs,
Chris

9 comments:

Foodie Girl said...

Ah! Eminem is definitely who I would be listening to when working out! Great post! I AM RIGHT THERE WITH YOU!!!

Anonymous said...

I just love how bad*ss you are. Love it. When I'm feeling apathetic about anything -- going for a run, doing my classwork, whatever -- I read your blog and feel ready to bring it.

karen@fitnessjourney said...

I remember watching an episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show years ago when she first spoke of her struggle with weight loss. It was the first time that I had ever heard the concept "emotional eating". I really didn't understand until I saw that show that people often eat as a way of comforting themselves. We were a family that talked out our problems, I was one of the lucky ones. Not everyone is that fortunate.

It sounds like this person has no frame of reference when it comes to this situation. I truly hope that she becomes more informed. When I was ignorant about emotional eating, I may have thought the same thing that she did. (I'd like to think I wouldn't have shoved my success in someone's face though!)

The upside is that you didn't let her comments lead to a binge. You took that as a challenge to kick it into full gear.

I love your attitude! I just gave you an award at my blog.

TJ said...

whoo hooo! You go girl! I think having a spark behind you is great! I know losing weight is not easy, it doesnt ever just fall off of me either. lol Actually you made a comment about what a difference a year makes on my last post but it was actually TWO years ago....lol See Im a SLOW loser! But ya know what, that is OK, I am chuggin along, doing my best and feeling so much better in the end. SO I guess what I am saying is it doesnt really matter WHEN you drop 5 or 10 pounds or what you weight in on Jan 1st. Its that you are sticking to it. You are making the change! :) I am so happy for you! :)

Foodie Girl said...

BTW... did I tell you I was in Colorado Springs this past October? I had never seen the mountains before then. OMG... they are absolutely beautiful. I cried when I saw them.

I will post pictures one day of my visit to your beautiful state and city. Manitou was my favorite spot though!

Sandra said...

I love your attitude and your focus. I AM WITH YOU GIRL!! Let's get it on!!!

Lisa said...

Congrats on getting to onederland Chris!

Melissa said...

Love it and I'm going to love watching you KICK ASS!

South Beach Steve said...

Chris, the older I get, the more I realize that if you haven't lived through something, you cannot understand it completely. If you have never had a food addiction, or an emotional eating problem, you cannot understand how impossible it is to "listen to your body". I listened to my body most of my life. It said, "Eat more, it is GOOD!", "You can handle just a little more!", "Come on, the diet can wait until tomorrow!". I have finally realized my body likes to tell lies to me. I do try to listen to it now, but that is only because I have spent the last 16 months retraining it to understand what real hunger is.