I am tired of waiting for Fatmaggeddon to start...so I am starting one day early..
Tomorrow in fact.
I have been using Fatmaggedon as an excuse to slack til the first.
Well, that ain't working for me.
So let's start with a current picture.
Now first let me say...
The cute little boy in this picture is not mine. (Although I would take him and the other two in a heartbeat.)
He is my friend Amber's.
He is the reason I am smiling.
So Sue...you tapped me for a list of ten things that make me happy
There is Number 1.
I too, love my friend's children.
This has only happened one other time.
I had a friend named Millicent and I just loved her kids.
I don't mean the fake "Aren't your kids just too precious" crap...I am talking, love to talk to and I think they are smart...and funny, and well mannered....kids.
The feeling does NOT always come with the friend or friend's children.
As you can see by this photo...the child pictured is darn cute.
He makes me happy.
Me today...Dec. 30th, 2009. 188 lbs.
Click to enlarge
Happy Reason Number 2...
The photo above makes me happy.
It makes me happy for several reasons...the first is the picture below....
Click to enlarge...if you dare. lol.
My very first photo...taken on May 18th of this year....262.4 lbs.
Total Loss for the year.
74.4 lbs. in 7 months and about 13 days.
Reason 3 The first photo makes me happy.
See those clothes...they were given to me by a very nice lady named Jennifer, who is also losing weight.
She is a size 12 now and very thoughtfully gave me this beautiful jacket (bill blass) the cute shirt and the jeans (Vera wang), along with several other items.
I don't think I have ever owned a designer anything.
Reason 4 that photo makes me happy is because I am a size 16.
Those Vera Wangs are a 16.
So I am not just a walmart 16, I am a designer 16.
And anybody who has ever tried to cram their *ss into a pair of designer anything knows what I am talking about.
Reason 5 I am happy about that picture...
Amber is a good friend, and I am meeting and making new ones.
Good friends are hard to find.
Reason 6...moving on now.
I am happy about having a family. I am not alone.
I do not eat alone.
I do not come home to an empty house.
Yes, I got married young. But I don't think I missed anything by doing that.
I think I gained a great deal. I gained Love and people to love.
Can't beat that.
Reason 7: I have a home. A two story home built on a foundation.
When I was little, I lived in a single wide trailer. It would get so cold in the winter that our doors would freeze shut. I shared a room with my brothers until I was 12. Then my mom built a wall to separate the room into two smaller rooms....one for me and one for my brothers. I could almost touch the walls on either side of my bed width wise. Length wise it was two and a half outstretched arms lengths. Right now I am laying on a king size bed and my childhood bedroom, my mom's bedroom and my brothers bedrooms would have fit into my master bed and bath area. I still get the giggles about the walk in closet.
I have a husband who has a job.
In this economy, nuff said.
I woke up on the right side of the dirt this morning.
There are people out there dying. I am healthy.
There are parents who have lost their children, I have two Healthy Children.
I have my mom...I have both my brothers, and my husband all alive.
Many husbands, daughters and sons, and brothers and uncles and sisters never came back from Iraq, Afghanistan, Vietnam, Korea...
I have opportunity. I live in the greatest country in the world. I have been given the privilege of residing here. I can wake up tomorrow and decide to go to college, get a job, learn to paint....whatever. I love living in a country where nothing is guaranteed, but everything is possible through commitment and hard work.
I think those two pictures say everything about my year.
I started out morbidly obese.
Now I am 56 lbs from goal.
I didn't know who I was or what I wanted.
I wasn't in touch with my feelings, or my hopes...I didn't even have many.
I just knew I wasn't happy...that I wanted to lose weight.
I had a couple of turning points along this road.
A couple of tipping points. The times when I could have slid back.
This blog would have gone away.
I could have stayed that woman you see at the top of this page.
All I had to do was quit.
Say it was too hard...or I didn't want to.
I could have let myself off the hook by eating and then bashing myself.
Wallowing in self pity...wallowing in self destruction.
but I managed...by looking at myself truthfully...acknowledging my fear, my excuses...and then leaving them behind. Refusing to let my past swallow anymore of my future...
And just so you know Jack Sh*t...I have something I keep that you wrote.
I will always keep it. I am linking to it.....here.
I can't read it without crying...because it is exactly how my mind turned.
IF anyone ever asks me how I did it...I can take the piece of paper I have of that poem, that I have laminated...and I will give it to them.
Because when it comes right down to it....that is it. It's all in the mind..in the want to...in the decision to never let yourself down, to be the person you want to be.
You have to believe it to see it.
I will see you all tomorrow.
And so it begins...Fatmaggedon 2010,
Your dedicated, happy, and charged up, and ready-to-go-get-out-of-my- way blogger,