12.30.2009

Sue and happiness, Jack sh*t, end of year pics and wrap up....lol!

Hey all,
I am tired of waiting for Fatmaggeddon to start...so I am starting one day early..
Tomorrow in fact.
I have been using Fatmaggedon as an excuse to slack til the first.
Well, that ain't working for me.
So let's start with a current picture.
Shall we.
Now first let me say...
The cute little boy in this picture is not mine. (Although I would take him and the other two in a heartbeat.)
He is my friend Amber's.
He is the reason I am smiling.
So Sue...you tapped me for a list of ten things that make me happy
There is Number 1.
I too, love my friend's children.
This has only happened one other time.
I had a friend named Millicent and I just loved her kids.
I don't mean the fake "Aren't your kids just too precious" crap...I am talking, love to talk to and I think they are smart...and funny, and well mannered....kids.
The feeling does NOT always come with the friend or friend's children.
As you can see by this photo...the child pictured is darn cute.
He makes me happy.

Me today...Dec. 30th, 2009. 188 lbs.
Click to enlarge


Happy Reason Number 2...
The photo above makes me happy.

It makes me happy for several reasons...the first is the picture below....

Click to enlarge...if you dare. lol.

My very first photo...taken on May 18th of this year....262.4 lbs.
Weight now.
188lbs.
Total Loss for the year.
74.4 lbs. in 7 months and about 13 days.

Reason 3 The first photo makes me happy.
See those clothes...they were given to me by a very nice lady named Jennifer, who is also losing weight.
She is a size 12 now and very thoughtfully gave me this beautiful jacket (bill blass) the cute shirt and the jeans (Vera wang), along with several other items.
I don't think I have ever owned a designer anything.

Reason 4 that photo makes me happy is because I am a size 16.
Those Vera Wangs are a 16.
So I am not just a walmart 16, I am a designer 16.
And anybody who has ever tried to cram their *ss into a pair of designer anything knows what I am talking about.

Reason 5 I am happy about that picture...
Good Friends.
Amber is a good friend, and I am meeting and making new ones.
Good friends are hard to find.

Reason 6...moving on now.
I am happy about having a family. I am not alone.
I do not eat alone.
I do not come home to an empty house.
Yes, I got married young. But I don't think I missed anything by doing that.
I think I gained a great deal. I gained Love and people to love.
Can't beat that.

Reason 7: I have a home. A two story home built on a foundation.
When I was little, I lived in a single wide trailer. It would get so cold in the winter that our doors would freeze shut. I shared a room with my brothers until I was 12. Then my mom built a wall to separate the room into two smaller rooms....one for me and one for my brothers. I could almost touch the walls on either side of my bed width wise. Length wise it was two and a half outstretched arms lengths. Right now I am laying on a king size bed and my childhood bedroom, my mom's bedroom and my brothers bedrooms would have fit into my master bed and bath area. I still get the giggles about the walk in closet.

Reason 8:
I have a husband who has a job.
In this economy, nuff said.

Reason 9:
I woke up on the right side of the dirt this morning.
There are people out there dying. I am healthy.
There are parents who have lost their children, I have two Healthy Children.
I have my mom...I have both my brothers, and my husband all alive.
Many husbands, daughters and sons, and brothers and uncles and sisters never came back from Iraq, Afghanistan, Vietnam, Korea...

Reason 10:
I have opportunity. I live in the greatest country in the world. I have been given the privilege of residing here. I can wake up tomorrow and decide to go to college, get a job, learn to paint....whatever. I love living in a country where nothing is guaranteed, but everything is possible through commitment and hard work.

I think those two pictures say everything about my year.
I started out morbidly obese.
Now I am 56 lbs from goal.
I didn't know who I was or what I wanted.
I wasn't in touch with my feelings, or my hopes...I didn't even have many.
I just knew I wasn't happy...that I wanted to lose weight.
I had a couple of turning points along this road.
A couple of tipping points. The times when I could have slid back.
This blog would have gone away.
I could have stayed that woman you see at the top of this page.
All I had to do was quit.
Say it was too hard...or I didn't want to.
I could have let myself off the hook by eating and then bashing myself.
Wallowing in self pity...wallowing in self destruction.
but I managed...by looking at myself truthfully...acknowledging my fear, my excuses...and then leaving them behind. Refusing to let my past swallow anymore of my future...
And just so you know Jack Sh*t...I have something I keep that you wrote.
I will always keep it. I am linking to it.....here.
I can't read it without crying...because it is exactly how my mind turned.
IF anyone ever asks me how I did it...I can take the piece of paper I have of that poem, that I have laminated...and I will give it to them.

Because when it comes right down to it....that is it. It's all in the mind..in the want to...in the decision to never let yourself down, to be the person you want to be.

You have to believe it to see it.

I will see you all tomorrow.

And so it begins...Fatmaggedon 2010,

Your dedicated, happy, and charged up, and ready-to-go-get-out-of-my- way blogger,

Chris




21 comments:

Christine said...

Congrats on the designer 16s and you Happy Picture. And your whole happy list. My walk in closet and King sized bed make me feel like a Queen and giggle too. ♥

outdoor.mom said...

oh wow i am so proud of you!! you have really come a long way :-) You owe it to yourself to keep going. You are beautiful!!

Fat[free]Me said...

(sniff) I am so proud of you!

MrsFatass said...

I totally love you.

Amy H. said...

Congrats on coming so far - you're amazing! And thanks for the reminders that there's so much in life to be thankful for.

Foodie Girl said...

You f-n rock girl! I am really proud of you. You continue to be an inspiration each and every day.

THANK YOU.

Leslie said...

A bona fide gratitude list, Chris. You look fantastic in that great jacket and size 16 jeans. You've made amazing progress, and inspire me no end. I'm back on track as of this morning and you are one of the bloggers I look to who has persevered through so much to be successful. That will be me this year.

F. McButter Pants said...

You and I have lost EXACTLY the same amount of weight. I think you lost yours faster however.

Thanks for your insightful posts and your success. If you can do, well so can I.

You've come along way baby! Here's to 2010!

TJ said...

You kicked ASS in 2009 but 2010 will be your GOAL YEAR (mine too!) Happy New Year!!! :)

Amber said...

I will claim that litle cutie!
You make him happy too. He smiles when you walk in the door:) I think I could claim Sophie too, with the red hair and all. She is just another one of "my" kids too.

You and your friendship have been what has kept me afloat so many times in the last few years. I value that friendship more than you know! I also am so proud of you, you have done awsome this last year and wiht out your success, I may not have had the push to succeed myself.

Your list of things that make you happy is great. I wish everyone could see the good in thier life and change what they can.

The clothes look great on you.
I do not expect to see you in the "way to big" for you skinny minny yellow shirt anymore.

Here's to another year of changing for the better, learning, and growing (mentally not physically:)
Glad we can share the next year together again as friends.

amber

South Beach Steve said...

Chris, you have really made a lot of progress this year -- that is something to be proud of. I am glad to see Fatmageddon is beginning a day early too. It feels good to know it is time.

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

Thanks for making me cry, you bitch.

Here's to a kick-ass 2010, Chris. I'm strapped in for Fatmaggeddon.

Alix said...

"I woke up on the right side of the dirt this morning."

I had highlighted about fifty things in your post that I wanted to comment on, but that one grabbed me the most. Too many people take "the right side of the dirt" thing for granted. So glad you're appreciative for your life and your health. All of us who struggle/d to get healthy seem to really appreciate it so much more than when we were killing ourselves with food. Once again, your words and your happy list speak volumes.

You knock me out, Chris. You really do. And by the way... you look mighty fine in Bill Blass and Vera Wang. Make it a habit, chica. You deserve to go designer all the way!

Happy New Year to you, yours and your friend's truly lovable munchkins. Casa Hice

Casa Hice ♥'s you!

seattlerunnergirl said...

Girl, you are looking GOOD! Thanks for sharing the photos and your list of happy things. I think that's a great way to end 2009 and I hope you don't mind if I steal it for my blog post today!

Keep up the amazing work - I can't wait to watch you all the way down to goaaaaalllllll!

Julie Lost and Found said...

I'm really enjoying your posts!!! You made me cry! LOL Congrats on your weight loss..that is just awesome! How exciting!

Tony the Pink Panda said...

Such a heartfelt post Chris; I loved it. Happy New Year and good luck with Fatmaggedon :).

KrysTros said...

Girl you look awesome! Wow I had no idea that you lost so much weight this year! Wished we lived closer so I'd have a workout partner! By the way the kids in the pic aren't mine but they are my granddaughter and nephew. You are so right about all the wonderful things in your life and how we live in the greatest country in the world, and even though there are some nice places overseas that I'd love to go back and see, I still want to live here in the good ol' USA!

Roxie said...

Chris,

I just want to thank you for all your support and wish you a fabulous new year. I know in my heart it will be great for you. You are doing such great things for yourself and inspiring so many of us. Thank you for the gift you give.

Reva said...

Good going Chris. What a difference a little attitude adjustment and resolve can make, huh?
I am going backwards and trying to catch up on some of the blogs I missed while in hospital but I see that you have a good following of well wishers and others who need to know that there are others out there, like you, who hurt and wish and cry and want to change and want to be admired and loved and beautiful and cherished and lucky and warm and healthy and all the things you mentioned.
Keep sharing your story for other's to identify with and to share in your accomplishments and woes ands to share theirs with you.

Linda Pressman said...

Chris, Amazing list, amazing pictures! It's really something to be able to use fresh eyes to look around and appreciate all that we have. And how amazing it is that in this country you can be anything you want to be, go to college whenever you want to, recreate yourself at any age. I know - I got my master's at 45! And congratulations on the awesome clothes. It's a wonderful thing to fit in beautiful clothes of true sizes (I remember well the weird sizing at some of the stores I shopped at when I was heavy) and how nice it is to know I can put on beautiful, well-made clothes every day now.

bbubblyb said...

Another terrific post! I just feel so happy for you.