My L.A.W.

My Long @ss Walk....
Right now it's my 5.6 mile 'hike' I do on Post.
I did it today in fact.
I plan to do it two more times this week.
I am getting set for my three month boot camp I intend to start in April.
But that is for another day.
Back to my L.A.W.
This had become somewhat of a tradition for me.
You see, when I first started my exercise regimen...or as I liked to call it, my walk. lol.
I would walk about 20 minutes.
About a month after I first started my journey, I discovered that my two mile walk was just not cutting it.
I wanted to try a new walk....So I did..
I called it my Long @ss walk.
I did it once a week, usually on a friday.
It would be all the way out to the stop sign at the end of the road and back...three miles.
My walking regime went something like this.
It was 1.5 m., then a 1.8m., then a 2.3m., then a 2.5m., and then a 3 mile walk.
I remember walking it the first time (completely flat course) and feeling like it was never ending.
It was hot and it was July.
Then, One day as I was on my three mile walk...at that time my L.A.W.
I decided instead of tapping that stop sign and turning back, that I was going to turn left and continue from there....
It turned out to be a 3.57 mile walk.
That became my new L.A.W.
I did it once that month...twice the next.
By that time, I was trying to get up the courage to go to a gym for the first time in a long time...kind of like This lady.
I was around 220 lbs the first time I walked into the gym on Peterson...
I wasn't there to stay.
I was just there to 'look around'.
I just checked my blog history.
I looked, it seems I started at the gym at around 229 lbs...holy crow...brave of me. lol.
August of last year. I started by going once or twice a week.
Now I spend three or four days a week there and feel like I blend.
I will be walking into a self defense class this saturday...
I am not there to stay, it's just a three hour class... and I will probably feel like I stick out like a sore thumb.
I hope time and exposure changes this as well.
Like someone said in my comments yesterday....You don't know what will fill the hole until you start looking.
I have been looking.
Hard.
I have found out quite a bit about who I am and what I want.
I am Looking forward to more self discovery over the next few months.
Why am I writing this? For the same reason I wrote the last few posts.
Some People have stumbled upon me and my blog at my current weight of 160 some odd pounds.
Unless I tell them about how big I used to be, that I didn't start out walking 5.6 miles...that at one point, 1 mile was tough...heck, at one point standing was difficult...
they won't know,
I may inadvertently discourage someone.
I don't want to do that.
It took months to get to this point physically and mentally.
There are days when I want to eat.
Eat everything.
There are still times I am driving past a gas station, and I think of those haribo peach gummies I used to eat...(150 calorie for 6 slices) and I want some.
I can have some, if I am willing to sacrifice some of my dinner...but sometimes I am tempted to eat some and then eat my whole dinner.
I don't.
Not because I am made of some sort of Iron will...
but because I know I am not, that that excuse that caused me to cave, will become easier to give into the next time...If I give in this time.
I have a lot in common with Tony the anti jared in that way.
I set up rules for myself.
I set up days when I am allowed to eat.
I set up calories I am allowed to have.
Over seen by me.
I am my own gatekeeper.
But I don't allow it to be optional.
It is my new law.
It is my new way of being, because to go back to my old way of eating and being is not an option. It can't be.
So, two things that keep me on track...
My L.A.W. , that little something inside that keeps pushing me to make my workouts tougher.
And my law...how I rule myself in regards to my eating.
Have a great night guys,
Hugs,
Chris