Those of you who ride horses know what I am referring to...
I loved Horseback riding growing up...
But there were days after riding 8 hours that you end up walking like your holding a log between your knees.
Your rear end hurts, Your tired and you're sneezing dust for three days.
You love riding, but don't want to see a horse for a while.
That's how I had been feeling about this whole weight loss and diet business after I got back from My vacation.
I didn't want to.
The eternal quest for a smaller @ss wasn't doing it for me...
I feel pretty now. I feel good.
I was eating extra bits here and there. But still going to the gym.
I was still losing slooooowly.
But I didn't have the joy I had before...
Then my youngest daughters birthday was coming up.
And I decided to throw myself at it wholehearted.
This whole year I put everything on the back burner to lose weight.
My house was a god awful mess....I had been doing every holiday at the last minute. My youngest was turning 9....she is getting older...I wanted to go whole hog..
The way I used to for my oldest...
I wanted to put all my effort into this party, to be present and joyous.
you all have heard that word before.
So, for a period of four or five days..I didn't count calories...I walked but at most I walked 3.5 miles.
One day I walked a mile.
One day I didn't walk at all...the day of the party
I got balloons, fixed up an old vanity to make it sparkle, found makeup and handed out invites.
I gave that party and day my all....
Yesterday I ate maintenance..
The upshot, I gained a pound...(Now remember folks...there was cake and pizza involved...this wasn't just a bit here and there)
yeah, your consistent blogger is sitting at 156.
I am back otk today.
Well actually yesterday.
I walked 3.5 miles yesterday and counted and measured everything.
It was hard getting back on program after a four or five day vacation.
I honestly wondered at one point if this was it...where I started sliding back...
But today, for the first time in nearly two months..I enjoyed my workout.
I relished watching what I ate.
I have this constant inner dialogue.
The four or five day break I took..
I kept saying to myself..
Will you be able to start again?
Will you be able to flip that switch?
Yesterday proved to me that I could, I just had to put out my hand and say enough.
I remembered why I wanted this.
I thought about the weight I am now...Yes, I am happy here.
(a little too happy...comfortable even.)
But ultimately, it isn't where I want to be.
After I got back, I didn't dress up or do my hair for almost three weeks...
I was worn out.
I kept thinking, is this all it's about...getting dressed up?
Then I realized that of course it wasn't, it was so I could throw myself into life with abandon.
So my body and my health wouldn't impede my progress..
So on the majority of days...I will eat healthy..I will exercise.
On Holidays and birthdays, I will eat what I want and have a great time.
So, I did my makeup today, and put on a skirt...
I want to live each day as the gift it is, not with food but with joy.
I counted my calories and tried a new recipe.
Sometimes you have been doing something so long it becomes tiring instead of inspiring.
A mini break from counting and six days a week at the gym was what I needed.
If you are feeling worn out...What do you need?
Remember you can start doing what's right at any time.
So, if you have been putting healthy living on the back burner...
You can light the pilot right now.
Sometimes you're just saddlesore.
Have a great night guys.