7.08.2010

Stealing an idea...

You know, I read sean's blog.
Sean, from a daily diary of a winning loser.
He does this thing where he looks up what was going on one year ago...
I thought I should do that.
I have gone quite far, sometimes I can't even believe that I am one year into this thing (more like 14 months in...)
So here goes, lets see what I can find.

I am down 20 lbs from where I started. It's only been seven weeks. I don't want to lose too much too soon, but am not pushing too hard I don't think. I weigh 242 right now. I started at 262.4. This post looks like my brain. A mish mash. I have a lot of stuff going on right now, just getting on here to write something down was a chore, so at least it's done. I have a feeling this blog is more important than I think it is. I am going to walk two miles tommorrow,

Wow, glad I did that....20 lbs down, really? 
I started on May 4th, 2009 and this entry was July 8th, 2009. 
I weighed in this morning at 153.5.
That is about 109 lbs gone. 
I wrote:
I have a feeling this blog is more important than I think it is...
um, yeah.
This blog has been my confessional, my support, my place to come to find inspiration.
That line  up there about not wanting to lose too much too soon...I remember why I wrote that.
I wrote that because I was AFRAID that if I lost too much too quickly I would slip back into magical thinking.
You know, the thinking that calories in and calories out aren't related.
That some mystical formula would make dieting a breeze.
I wanted so badly to be anchored in  reality.
To know that hard work was the ONLY thing that would work this time.
I wanted it to hurt.
Maybe I wanted to punish myself for letting it happen.
But mostly, I never wanted to go back to sleep.
I won't do this everyday...But I will start posting things that I find relevent.
I think it is a good thing to look back at where we came from.
It clears things up, and it keeps things in perspective.
I remember how my feet used to burn when I walked.
Like red hot pokers coming up from underneath.
a walk would wipe me out.
I had to put so many things on hold last summer.
The lawn.
visiting with friends.
It took so much energy to turn this train around.
I had to put on the breaks full stop and throw this crap in reverse.
I had to view it in terms that were black and white.
Yes and No.
Right and wrong.
Or it just wouldn't work for me.
When I had eating times...high calorie days.
It was 6 hours of whatever I wanted...spigot opened and gushing.
Then whap!
spigot off.
Back to the grind.
Now I have more of a nuanced approach.
But not in the beginning.
I was learning.
It's a process.
But don't let anything stop  you once you've started in the right direction.
There is nothing more disheartening than having that fire and watching it flicker and die.
Don't do that to yourself.
You deserve better.
Hugs,
Chris

19 comments:

Melissa said...

WOW!! It is amazing to have watched you progress. You have done amazing things. Never forget that.

Alexia said...

i love that you borrowed sean's post.
and that 14 months later, you still here inspiring. sleep tight!

Kim said...

I swear every time you do one of these posts it feels like you're saying all this directly to me and the funny thing is I know I'm not the only one that feels like that. You have a pretty awesome talent and you're very inspirational. Again, you said exactly what I need to hear...I've just gotta start kickin my own ass. :) Thanks, as usual.

brenda said...

Every time I read your posts I want to comment to tell you that you always say what I need to hear. It's amazing! I just had to finally comment today.

Thanks for all you share. You make me want to keep going on this roller coaster of a journey.

Rettakat said...

I totally agree... it's a learning process. We can read and learn from others, but in the end we have to do the hard work ourself, sometimes trial and error. I just wish everyone had your tenacity!

Just because we flop on our face a few times is no reason to give up. :-)

I love that you are going back and will be sharing some blasts from the past.

I'm looking forward to August (one year for me), and thinking I'd steal his idea, too, LOL!

Loretta
=^..^=

carla said...

youre so right.
so inspiring.
we do deserve better.

all of us.

MizFit

MrsFatass said...

I have a feeling your blog is STILL more important than you think it is.

Loved the snapshot to the past.

Sean Anderson said...

The "time traveling," as I like to call it--has helped me so much. I'm so glad you're doing it too!
Wow---you're on a most wonderful journey, just look at how far you've come!
I enjoy and sincerely appreciate your experience...Thank you for sharing it all.

My best always
Sean

Fiona said...

:)
It's wonderful to see how far you have come!

logmyloss said...

It is enlightening to go back and see what we were doing some time back. I have done that a few times, but I haven't posted about it. Maybe I will steal the idea too.

karen@fitnessjourney said...

That must be really interesting to look back and see what a year can bring. I appreciate you sharing that story about how your feet would burn from walking. I've never heard anyone express that before. It helps me to better understand what it was like for you and others who might still be going through the weight loss journey. It's easy for me to tell someone to walk a couple of miles a day for weight loss, but if you are experiencing something like that, it must be disheartening.

Helen said...

You must be so glad that you've kept this diary of your journey. On your worst day you can look back and see how far you've come, how much you've achieved.

Robin said...

Hey chica,
Very interesting. You've come a long way baby. I am looking forward to the day when I look back on this migraine thing and I have it under control and I can feel the same way about it that you do about your weight. In other news, I tagged you yesterday on HERE'S TO YOU THURSDAY. Congratulations.
Robin Out.

Salina Lyn said...

What a great idea. I forget how far I've come all the time too. Looking back sometimes can be therapeutic I think. Awesome! Now I have to wait until August 1st to celebrate my one year of blogging with a similar kind of post. Congrats on the huge successes!

bbubblyb said...

Great post as always Chris! I love reading your words they always ring true and help to remotivate me when I'm not feeling it. Thanks.

99ToGo said...

I've loved looking back in journals to see where I was. Sometimes it was inspirational (to see how far I'd come), or a kick in the butt (because I had back-slidden).

Tammy said...

You really have some terrific insight Chris and it comes across so well that you really do care about the rest of us...you want us to win and succeed...thanks for continuing to push and inspire. You're more important to so many of us than you probably know...myself included. :)

Seth said...

Dang - that one line is crazy cool.

"I have a feeling this blog is more important than I think it is"

it is.

Gavz said...

This post got me, specially the below lines:
"It's a process.
But don't let anything stop you once you've started in the right direction.
There is nothing more disheartening than having that fire and watching it flicker and die"
How very true! :-)
Hoping to get there,
Gavz