desperation vs. inspiration

click to enlarge.



Hello.

This is my very first beginning photo that my very good friend amber took.
I was 262 lbs.
Those pants were my everyday wear.
So was that kind of t shirt.
See the hair.
That is how I wore it.
all.the.time.
I didn't have it cut or colored.
I didn't do anything with it.
When I started this journey I had only one choice...
to succeed.
I gave myself leverage.
I took these photos, put it all out there on this blog.
weighed in, in front of my friend amber.
told her if I didn't lose at least 40 lbs in that first year I would take the picture above and put it in my hometown paper and write underneath it..

This is Christina Oursler.
She has once again failed herself and her family by not losing the weight she said she would.
She is 262 lbs and morbidly obese.

I meant it.
I would have sent it...because I knew that I had to succeed.
I had heart palpitations.
I couldn't breathe correctly lying flat on my back.
I had a hard time standing for more than 20 minutes at a time.
I wore muted colors and hardly went anywhere.
I was desperate to lose this weight.
I don't know how many of you have read my sidebar.
I say something there...
I say "maybe you have tried and failed, and tried and failed so many times you think you have failure written on your forehead."
I know that feeling...I have lived it.
I knew I needed leverage.
My first leverage was humiliation.
I finally saw myself as others saw me.
You see, up to the point in build a bear...I thought I was 'chubby'.
Or plump.
I was morbidly obese.
That split second of seeing myself as an 'other'.
As a person I didn't know, before realizing it was me...
It gave me the realization I needed to push forward.
The realization that I wasn't some comfortable word like plump.
I was fat.
hugely so.
It was almost like waking up.
That is why it never bothered me since that day to post a picture of myself.
That day I realized how others saw me..
Well, what was I hiding.
A photo.
I walk around all day every day in my body.
I was just taking a picture of what everyone was already seeing.
I have come a long way since then.
I weigh 149.5 lbs.
This weight was a dream to me at 262 lbs.
A size 10 when I was verging on a size 24.
My lowest adult weight was 136 lbs out of basic training and I did nothing but climb ever since.
Now I have been this thin for three or four months.
I still look for the fat girl in the photos I get...
It took me a while to find myself in some pictures a good friend sent via email...because I was looking for the fat person.
It will take a while for your brain to catch up to your reality.
So what I am doing...
Going for my goal.
Full tilt like I did at the start of this whole thing...
This part of my journey is different from the beginning..
here is an excerpt from June 1st, 2009.
13 days after the picture I took above.

Well, in my own life I had allowed food to become my addiction. I used it in the same way a drunk uses booze or a drug addict uses heroin. It was not to feed my body, it was a comfort for bad feelings, it was fun when I was bored. Now I am obese, I have been obese probably for the last 9 years, before that I was overweight. You might say that alcohol hurts the family. Well, guess what. So does my obesity. I avoid doing things because of my weight. I don't go to swimming pools, I avoid family photos, I am too tired to play or go to the park. I have cheated my kids out of a lot of things because of my blindness to my own addiction. A while back I was standing in a public place, and I saw myself in a full length mirror, not just from the waist up. I really saw myself. I looked fat and felt old. I was so embarrassed that I just wanted to leave the store. I told my friends this and even my husband. What I didn't say was that, that night as I was lying in bed, I told God that I couldn't do it. I have been on every diet known to man and have quit every single time. The last time I tried to "diet" I ended up on my treadmill crying because I could feel in my spirit that I had no hope. I was giving my body to him. Really giving it over and not reserving anything. I don't have the power to beat this because I have been going off of 'will power' and it had never worked. I asked God to show me my heart, and he did. I was no better than anyone else. Knowing that I use food like a drug has helped me resist overeating. This is a day to day struggle for me. If I don't address this now I will only get fatter. I am not pleasantly plump, or chubby, I am obese, It is serious, I could die. I am 255 lbs. I have lost 10 lbs so far. Since I started on May 4th, I have had a few times when I have had urges for food not related to hunger, but nothing above what I could bear. I hope people reading this will pray for me. I have to do this for many reasons
( I didn't weigh in on may 4th because I was too scared to. I weighed in on May 18th. I regret this because from the weight I lost before I weighed in I was probably closer to 270lbs. Now I will never know.)

This was my very first entry on weight loss.
I have lost 110 lbs since then...I have been trying to upload a new pic...but you can simply look to the right and see me in my red dress for a comparison.
I am a different person.
My run at goal isn't a matter of desperation.
It's a matter of inspiration.
I know what I can do...
I have become the person I admired so many times before.
The person you see on TV..who loses weight and keeps it off...I am that person.
I take time for myself now.
I feel in control of my food and my life.
I feel good about how I look.
I don't feel shame every time I eat...or go in public.
You can be that person too.
Just don't give up.
Just keep going.
One day will go after another.
A year will pass one way or another.
How do you want to spend them?
In shame and regret.
Or with a sense of accomplishment, pride and victory?
I look at the last year and a half and Thank God I took it a day at a time, that I didn't lose heart or patience....that I did it.
I will look back on these up coming 7 months (may will be my two year mark) as my final sprint to the end of the beginning....when I will hit goal and then start the process of maintaining that goal.
Have a great weekend.
Hugs,
Chris

*sigh*

I did not find them anywhere..
Not in the poop, not in the house..
I am cross
but have a clean house.

lol.
I did get a great workout in and have a 300-400 calorie deficit at the end of the day.
This month was another non starter.
I guess I am going to have to have one of those
challenge thingies.
I am very comfortable hanging around the 150 lb mark.
It's easy.
But,
I really want to break out of this rut I am in.
I know I keep saying that.
It's like I think...
I look good
At this weight I don't even have to count calories.
I watch what I eat and exercise and think I look pretty good.
My weight hasn't budged.
I am the queen of maintenance.
But I want to get to the 130's.
So I am going to make a run at it...
I won't get there before the 1rst. But I will get to 145 minimum.
So I am aiming at 145 by January 1rst.
I will weigh in on November 1rst, post it.
And then throw down for november.
I will eat thanksgiving dinner..but just like last year I will be at the gym in the morning.
I will Christmas dinner...
But like last year will take a walk (for some reason the gym is closed on christmas...weird huh lol ;o))
1460 calories maximum every other day.
I really got to pull my head out of my @ss.
Only one way to do that..
Wheel of fire Chris.
Not 'the way of the river' Chris.
let's bump it up 10 notches.
You new readers don't know the old Chris..
But you are about to meet her.
Welcome to Chrisbodia..
The workout machine and the clean eating queen.
Let's kill the next two months..
Shall we?
We shall.
Hugs,
Chris

@*#&$!!!! >:0(

I am blogging now.
Okay,
Crap day.
I lost my keys two days ago...to my van.
Which was strange because my house wasn't really messy and I couldn't find them in my usual places.
I have one key to my van.
My husband has a car.
He was driving my daughter to school today and got a flat tire.
wE don't have cell phones and he doesn't have a jack in his car.
They got my oldest to school (via a nice policeman)
My husband walked home 8 miles.
We got a tow truck when he got back and had it towed to H&H tire where we spent 278 dollars to get two new back tires..(two because we have needed to get new tires for quite a while and we just didn't have the money..we still don't but oh well)
Now I am cleaning the house in an effort to forestall the inevital tow to the dealership so they can cut me a new key with a chip in it and then program the key.
I am hoping to find my keys but am losing hope because I found my house key sans car key in my upstairs bathroom...
which means two things...
either the kids were playing with my keys and removed my key from my ring (this didn't happen...I know when the little buggers are lying..and they are a little old to be doing that at 9 and 16 years of age. )
Or, my dog ate my key.
You may think "Oh Chris, dogs don't eat keys."

Well, you'd be wrong.
My dog eats everything.
We have found all sorts of things in his poop.
sponges...balls..plastic.
he will chew anything...eat anything.
Last night he got on the counter and ate a stick of butter with the wrapper on it.
My key was plastic on the top with a small metal portion sticking out the bottom.
He may have decided he liked to chew on it and then swallowed cause that's what he does.
Or he may have found them and carried them somewhere.
I don't know..and won't till I turn over every last square inch of this house.
Which is what I will be spending the remainder of my evening doing.
HOpe you guys have a better night than I am having.
Talk to you all later.

Chris does a wordless wednesday

Because I love this song and wanted to share it...
Zac brown band....colder weather
Enjoy.




See you Thursday

Good news!

Bad news


Back to that subject I was talking about yesterday...
Good news.
You control you.
Bad news
You control ONLY you.

I know some people are in some bad situations.
Some situations look like a lose/lose proposition.
I have a very good 'for instance' for you.

My mom was married to an interesting person.
By interesting I mean violent and crazy.
So...on the night she finally chooses to leave him...it wasn't a simple choice.
It was preceded by a very violent episode, the circumstances of which are varied and ugly.
There were phones ripped out of walls ( we lived in the country...the phone was our only means of communication..next neighbor=1 mile away. )
There was hitting and screaming.
Not the first time this occurred as the holes in the walls of our trailer could attest...in fact the first time I brought my husband home there was still a door in the trailer that hadn't been replaced that had two holes in it...
I digress..
She said she was leaving.
He said
You leave and I will kill you.
She got our coats...she put them on us..he wouldn't let us have the car, so we started to walk.
We got halfway across our yard when he fired a gun over our heads.
I was 10 at the time and my brothers were 13 and 5.
My mom kept walking.
We walked up our dirt road and out onto the highway...we were walking to his mother's house five miles away at 11:30 at night in the middle of winter.
All of the sudden a car comes up behind us and nearly hits us...
he gets out and throws the keys in the ditch and walks off.

Now.
There were choices that my mom made.
bad ones and finally one good one.
She could have let fear stop her from leaving, she let fear stop her for 10 long long years (12 by the time she finally got a divorce).
He threatened to kill her.
He shot at her.
She could have turned around and went back.
But she didn't.
I have no doubt she was scared out of her mind...she was 30 years old...she worked a minimum wage job and had three kids...a violent and abusive husband who cheated on her.
I am 36 and the very idea of being alone to raise my kids....I can't imagine how she was feeling...now add to that the years of mental and verbal abuse and feelings of low self worth,
I can't even imagine it.
But she decided at 11:30 at night in the middle of December that she had had enough.
That is when our lives turned a corner.
Sometimes you have made so many mistakes in life it comes down to change or die.
or change and die.
It could have gone either way.
But she knew staying wasn't living.
She couldn't start living until she chose to take back control of her life.
She had to decide.
While he did many bad things.
He threatened and he harmed...and it seemed like my mom didn't have any choices.
She did.
So, you do have a choice.
It may not be a pleasant one.
But it's there.
You know why my flip switched.
Because I chose to flip it.
I finally realized that if anything was going to change my circumstances, it was going to have to be me....
did a 3 mile walk today.
It was cold...and dark and I did it anyways.
Tomorrow you can wake up make a decision to change your life.
To decide...
To live a life you can enjoy and be proud of.
So do it.

Hugs,
Chris

The locus of control

Is inside of you...
I will write more about this tomorrow...because I am beyond tired right now.
I kicked rear in the gym.
walking sprinting...plus elliptical.
150 situps and weights.
Good food in at 1600...will be better tomorrow.

I am currently in the process of re reading the 7 habits of highly effective people.
It's first and most important premise is the idea of
locus of control...
That is not the term he uses...but it was a term we used while horseback riding.
Is what happens to you a function of what you create or what others do or what 'happens'..is it self determination or fate?
Is it fate or is it you?
Where does the control lie?
Ultimately, acknowledging that every decision you make is a decision you are responsible for...
Success lies within this paradigm.
Because if you truly believe you control nothing, you will CHANGE nothing.
For instance, I had a problem with eating.
For years I allowed my 'locus of control'...my sense of where the problem was...I thought of all of it as 'outside of my control'.
So, of course I couldn't do anything about my eating issues because it was stress, or my bad relationship with my husband, or my way of coping with emotional issues, or my bad childhood.
I felt so powerless because I assumed that the control and the ability to change things was out of my hands. If only others would _____________.
When in reality, it was all inside of me. All of it.
Yes, other people had issues that affected me.
But, I allowed others to affect me, even when it damaged me.
I had to learn how to take back my power, to internalize it and then to turn it.
So that I could tap the power that had been there the whole time.
I can't get into it all tonight,
But will tomorrow.
The only question I have is this...
What do you feel is outside of your control?
Have a good night guys.
Hugs,
Chris

Saturdays with Jack! Sugar....It's baaaaad. lol

The things he says about kids back then?
I think they are doubly true today.
I watched a thin kid struggle up two flights of stairs...not an asthmatic, not terminally ill..
Just (as jack would say) "out of condition'.
My daughter and I race from my van to the door of her home school enrichment course on Tuesdays.. up those same three flights of stairs.
Can I tell you how much I enjoy running with her.
I never ran when I was morbidly obese.
I struggled to walk.
When I was a kid I played outside in the woods all day long.
I was skinny, because I was always moving.
We have to get kids back to eating good foods and moving more.
When I was morbidly obese, I was setting my kids up for a sedentary existence.
I was their example.
The bigger I got, the less I wanted to move and play.
I was also providing them the template for what adulthood looked like.
Now, it looks different for them.
And for me.


Have a great weekend,
See you on Monday.
Hugs,
Chris

Nearly there...and being grateful.

Hey guys,
Nearly there with feeling decent.
managed to eek out 30 minutes on an elliptical and do 100 situps while fighting a bit of nausea and cramping..yeah me!
lol.
Calories are higher than I would like but it was from consuming orange juice.
Trying to kick this thing in the rear.
Three days is long enough to be sick, thank you.

Now on to a rather depressing subject.
Death.
I feel like I have been reading or hearing about it all week long.
Not that I want to dwell on death.
Maybe it's this time of year.
Maybe it's because it's getting dark earlier.
Maybe it's some of the blogs I read. (very probably this last one)
I am 36.
or as I sometimes think of it....a little under half dead.
We are only given so many years to kick around here.
I don't want to spend my life dying.
I want to spend it living.
Some people waste their lives.
They sit in darkened corners complaining about how things didn't go their way. How life is unfair.
They blather on..day after day after day over things they could control, but choose not to.
I understand that sometimes life seems overwhelming.
I went through a period of a very near mental malfunction.
But honestly it was because there were things that I had refused to face and the stink and the problems had gotten so big that they seemed insurmountable.
And at the precise time it all came to a head and I needed to deal with them because I hadn't up till that point, my legs were cut out from underneath me by an emotional blindside.
mental and emotional inventory and clean up is an ongoing process..
Deal with the problems as they come or they will deal with you.
Lesson learned.
I have been reading about some families lately.
There are people who are handed huge bags of crap, things that would have or should have crushed them mentally and spiritually..
And somehow they are still functioning.
Through God's grace I would imagine.
I read today that a lady who lost her little girl in an accident three months ago..she put this on her mirror...
The phrase
I can do hard things.

I CAN DO hard things.

If she can say it.
I can.
We can.
We can stop eating for comfort.
We can exercise.
We can face the day with a determined attitude.
And a grateful attitude.
Because we have been given another day.
I have been given a family.
Two healthy children.
A decent husband.
A roof over my head.
Food in my belly.
I am going to use my life to my full advantage for as long as I have it.
What will you do with your tomorrows?
Hugs,
Chris

busy bakson....

That's a little quote from a book called house at pooh corner.
I think it's from Christopher robin when he needed to go somewhere.
For some reason I have been extraordinarily tense lately...
along with sick.
I took a nice walk today and am on my way to recovery.
But need a break from thinking.
So I will be going to barnes and nobles where I will read some trashy novel with a lord in it and burrow in a chair till I finish the whole thing.
I will be back on it tomorrow.
responsible, dependable.
Tonight I just want to veg.
Have a good one...
hugs,
Chris

We interrupt this blog

for a major headache and a minor illness..
I think I may have some sort of thing they call a 'cold' or sickness...
This is rare for me so I hesitate to use the word 'illness'.
Mothers do not get sick...
So I will settle for symptoms.
Headache, joint pain and a general feeling of ill health.
My feet are freezing.
This only happens when I am 'sick' or giving birth..
pretty sure I am not giving birth.
So, in lieu of an actual healthy living update...
I leave you with funny puns.
enjoy.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

There was a sign on the lawn at a rehab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.

"A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat says to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'.

Now matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands.

An illiterate fisherman was lost at c.

I've never tipped a cow. Then again, one has never served me food.

She was only a whisky maker but he loved her still.

What do you call a arrogant fugitive falling from a building? Condescending.


and finally,

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other.

One says to the other, "Are you all right?"

"No, I lost an electron."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm positive."

have a good one,
will be back tomorrow...
Hugs,
Chris

Thanks all..and moving on..

I want to thank everyone for the intelligent, and graceful handling of yesterday's subject matter.
I really appreciate it.
It's good to see that while we don't all agree, at least we can maintain some dignity in the process and express ourselves without resorting to name calling  or flaming.
When I posted and turned on anonymous comments, I had a very real fear it could descend into that.
So, again...thanks.

That was exhausting.

I did okay today....I have a headache and walked two miles..that was all.
I just don't feel well.
I won't be writing much tonight.
Hope everyone is doing well on their respective plans and their respective 'lifestyles'.
lol.
Have a great night,
Chris

Above all...To thine own self be true...

Hey guys,
Tonight is not going to be a regular post...because something has been bothering me lately.
Badly.
I am a Christian.
A southern Baptist...
So, we all know what church says about homosexuality...
What you don't know about me is that I have a very good friend who is gay.
This friend is not out to any but a very few.
This friend is one of the most intelligent, sensitive and caring people you would ever want to meet.
This friend is a good person.
This friend  was comfortable enough with me to tell me, which I will always view as a huge honor.
What we never hear in popular media is how we, as Christians, are to treat people.
Churches should address this.
Mine does...I don't know how many others do..
We should treat people who think differently, and believe differently..
with love.
It is not our job to judge others.
It is our job to keep tabs on OURSELVES.
religion and government co exist
BUT SHOULD NOT INTERTWINE..
what happens when that happens is theocracy and it is ugly. (think Iran)
Jesus said render unto ceaser the things which are ceaser's and God the things which are God's.
The less government intrusion into the private lives of others the better.
We may be a Christian Majority now..but someday we may become a muslim majority or a hindu majority.
We don't want religion running our government, nor do we want our government running religion.

What has been  bothering me is the story of a boy who was beaten up by four or five young men..
They told him that he was a bad word about being Gay, that he needed to go home and hang himself.
He went home and hung himself.
What did the world lose that day?
Who knows.
Then in a link below, a similar thing happened to this guy..but they told him he should 'go to hell where he belongs".
It left me with these thoughts:
A.) I had no idea God himself was walking around on  earth passing judgement..
This amazed me as I am pretty sure the only one who gets to pass judgement is GOD and since I hadn't heard Gabriel's trumpet...I knew the second coming wasn't nigh...So..WTH?.

B.) I can only assume that they believe in God (or some version of him) seeing as how they threw the word Hell around. They threw the judgement around and they told that poor young man where they thought he ought to go.

C.) They give Christians a BAD NAME...and in doing so give Christ a bad name.

We aren't to judge outside of believers...we are to judge within.
and even then we are to approach the person
with love
And I can only say that either these boys were backslidden beyond comprehension or they aren't Christians at all...but false believers.
Why AND HOW could I make such a statement.
Because as a believer, I can.
Because they presumed to be judge, jury and ultimately executioner... I can call them out.
When  you declare you are a Christian, you open yourself up to a community of  people who are to keep you in check.
So...
Because the fruit needs to bear out.
What should the fruits of the spirit of a Christian be?
LOVE
JOY
PEACE
LONGSUFFERING
KINDNESS
GOODNESS
GENTLENESS
SELF CONTROL
who is the accuser?
Satan.
Not Christ
Not Christians.
We are to have discernment in our own lives.
In the end I believe we will stand before the judgement seat and hear what God has to say...
Does everyone believe this?
NO.
Is it my job to make everyone live according to my beliefs?
NO.
Now before I go on to the next bit...let me just say that I think sincere people can disagree about the origins of homosexuality...and I don't think disagreement equals hate.
I believe that the church has the right to define marriage in it's own way...within the church.
We, as americans have the right to disagree.
As a Christian we have the obligation to live lives according to our beliefs.
It is my job to be a light of love for God...

All human beings are children of God.
He doesn't love us anymore than he loves anyone ELSE!
We can do nothing under our own power to make ourselves 'good people'.
We are all on the same playing field honey.

All I could think of was my friend...I will call this friend M.
My friend M.
What would the world be like without M in it?
What would we have missed without M's sense of humor...and one day I hope to goodness that M is able to write a book...because M is remarkably talented.
M. comes from a backward place where  if M. came out, M. would have a hard time keeping friends..M. would dissappoint their family, maybe even lose their job.
Maybe M would have been tracked down...beaten....called ugly names and then been told to hang themselves...and then what.
Then I wouldn't know M.
I will be enabling anonymous comments so if M wants to comment M can.
I would like to apologize to the gay community on behalf of any anger or intolerance or hurt caused by Christians who don't know enough bible to show love and compassion.
I realize I can't speak for all of us...but at least I can speak for me.
I hope we can get to a point in this country when we can stop being so angry and afraid and start dealing with each other as human beings  who are deserving of love and compassion and a place in our society.
Being Gay doesn't disqualify you from doing a good job...or being a good friend...or sister, or mother, aunt...or father, uncle or brother.
I thought long and hard about this.
The church and the state are two seperate entities.
Gay marriage should fall to the states...period.
Those powers not invested in the federal government fall to the states.
And being Gay shouldn't disqualify you from having a family.
I think  until we get to the point where there are civil unions...

(Much like the old laws stating that blacks and whites couldn't marry...)
saying that we can't treat Gays as second class citizens is talking out both sides of our mouths.
Because when you block people from doing things like:
Marrying
adopting
being in the military
being able to keep your job even if everyone knows you are gay...did you know in many states it is legal to fire someone for being gay?
To be able to freely associate
its a right garantueed by the constitution....
They are human beings and children of God.
And as human beings
They deserve someone to love and to love them in return.
Will I piss people off with this?
Yes.
I am okay with that.
Have a good one guys.
Now a link that pushed me over the edge and forced me to write about this:

That's all....
Hugs,
Chris

Saturdays with Jack-life is a battlefield

Have a great Saturday guys...
and here's jack.

 

Make up your mind that it will be today.
Time to win folks.
Have a great weekend.
hugs,
Chris

IT'S ALLLLIIIIIIIVVVVEEEE...

lol,
um...that's my scale..the needle is moving and it is in the right direction.
Go figure, a little dedicated control with the food and a little extra oomph with the exercise and my scale caves like the little ***** it is.
bwahahhahahhahha.
better.
physical
Awesome
calories 1470
3 mile walk.
20 minutes with Jack lalanne and 150 situps.

Tomorrow I plan to pound out a bit of extra exercise at the gym...maybe a whole hour of cardio again...make this sunday a 1400-1500 calorie sunday and ride this wave of mojo for the next week.
Mental...
A little edgy today.
I think it's that whole "I want to pound this fat into dust, obliterate it, incinerate it..
apollo creed's got nothing on me.
so...I am ready to go.

spiritual.
Not a whole lot doing here today.
gonna read luke...probably finish it up.
It's been really nice.
i think I will go back and read Ecclesiastes. It's my  favorite book in the bible.
One theologian summed it up like this
life is hard, then you die.
I like it because it's true.
I like it because the hardest things are the things most worth doing.
I know we all go to heaven..but I am going to say something here.
Even if there were no heaven I would still  be a christian..
for the sheer pleasure of it, for everything I have learned.
For being allowed to live and breathe and experience everything.
The good and the bad.
I like life.
Enjoy your life.
Big hugs,
Chris

And Chris finds her limit.....

Hey all,
Well, I went to see a 'professional' today.
She seemed like a very nice lady.
We talked about circuit training...
We talked about nutrition and the need to 'get rid of fat'.
In my food and over my muscles.
She was a three time miss olympia.

I swear to God, all I could think of while talking to her was this:

 

Yes I have about 15 to 20 lbs to lose.

But no, I don't want to eat half cans of tuna and 'calorie poor' (her words not mine) leafy veggies for the rest of my life.
I don't mind doing it for a while....but yuck.
I am putting up my scale till November 1rst, When I will weigh in before God and everyone, weight to be posted here.
I am gonna keep my calories between 1400-1500.
implement some circuit training and interval training, step up my game exercise wise.
drop my sugar to 2 tablespoons a day and increase my salad intake.
But I don't want my whole life to revolve around an 'eating schedule'.
My 'eating schedule' will be with my family.
My exercise will be an hour to an hour and a half a day.
And after that I am not going to worry about it.
I am taking Allen's formula...(well, not allen's formula...but we will call it allen's formula because he talks about it all the time) and I will use that.
Thank you Allen.
So, my  formula is 132 x 11=1452
That is what it would take to maintain  my ultimate weight....add in exercise and there is my calorie level for the week or less if I so choose. I will be posting numbers on Sundays and what my deficit was.
My weigh in will be once a month till I get to goal.
I will have one 2500 calorie day a month like I did when I started, and two 1800 calorie days on Sundays...

Like allen and many others, I don't care who likes my plan. It's my plan. 
When it comes down to it, this journey is our own.
It comes down to what we want our lives to represent.
What we want to focus on.
I don't want to focus on my body 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
I did that fat.
all the time, thinking of how ashamed I should be.
I won't do it now.
Thinking of how I should be only eating a can of tuna and some spinach.
That's not a life...not to me anyways.
Eating schedules...bizzare food combinations...
Lack of breasticles.
uh uh.
I'm a chick.
I realized today that irregardless of whether or not I ever lose a nother pound...I refuse to spend the rest of my life paranoid about fat, counting out almonds and whatever it is you have to do to look like that.
That IS NOT me.
I will settle for a healthy weight, some stretch marks and a full life.
Have a great night guys.
Big hugs,
Me.

 

NSV'S for life...warning..proud mother.

Hey all,
I have been wanting to blog about some nsv's I have had lately but haven't gotten around to it..
so first through the format

physical
calories 1560...all good ones. no crap today.
exercise: 4 mile walk-150 situps and twenty minutes with Jack lalanne.
Great day.
mental.
good one. get around to that.
spiritual...
I watched little house on the prairie and remembered how much I loved that show when I was growing up...it showed me what a 'normal' family could look like.

NSV

Biggest one is my daughter.
She got a letter in the mail inviting her into the national honor society..she just has to apply and get accepted. she doesn't have a lot of charity work under her belt...but she will apply anyways.
I was thinking of putting her in at the humane society. That way she could get her charity hours in doing something she feels passionate about.
She also received a letter from recruiters from the coast guard talking about her 'impressive' asvab score and the college they offer.

Why is this an nsv?
My kids have been my top priority since they were born.
My aim was to give my oldest the variety of opportunities I didn't have.
(my youngest too, but we are still working on grammar here)
I knew we wouldn't have the money to buy everything for her
...but education
that was the key.
If I could give her an excellent education, it would open so many doors for her.
Doors she just had to walk through.
She has worked so hard.
Has a 4.3 gpa 4.1 gpa*I have been corrected by my daughter in the comments below...that being said, I expect improvement lol* and is self motivated and is taking advantage of every opportunity provided.
I had one door.
She has so many openings, it's not even funny.
She will have choices, and she will get to decide where her life goes.
For me this is a great victory.
When I saw that letter, I remember being in high school and watching my friends getting inducted.
I never realized what I wasn't getting...what I didn't know and what nobody told me till it was too late to turn that corner.
My mom just wanted me to 'not get pregnant'.
c's and d's in my freshman and sophomore years.
a's and b's in my junior and senior years.
That wasn't getting me any kind of scholarship.
I joined the army.
Education is the key to everything.

other nsv...
my thighs no longer rub together. Yeah!
lol.
well, enough of that.
Hope you all have a great

Entering the dragon's lair...

Yes folks, that would be the movie theater.
I watched Secretariat with my oldest (who for some reason has a five day weekend off school).
Good movie, even though you already know the ending...the still manage to make you tense.
And anyone who knows me, knows that popcorn is my kryptonite.
So.
Physical:
I didn't have popcorn, but did have chips.
calories in at 1679.
If I would have bought popcorn, the damage would have been astronomical.
I consider it even steven. I don't watch many movies and have been waiting many moons for this one.
exercise in at 650 calories burned.
I had a great workout.
all told around a 400 calorie deficit.
I ellipticaled...I sprinted...I weight lifted.
It was great.
I also talked to a personal trainer about a consultation.
I want to take off 8 or 9 more lbs of fat before I start sculpting my body into the shape I want it to be as the last 5-10 lbs come off.
I want to figure out a workout schedule I can do for the rest of my life that will give me variation and intensity and not wear out my joints.
So, go to a professional.
I meet with her this thursday.

Mental:
I have all sorts of ideas bouncing around in my head.
Things about my ability to apply the lessons I learned from weight loss to the rest of my life..
to how much verbal litter there seems to be in the media.
I think I have talked about this before.
People talk twice as much as they listen and about fifty times more than they think.
I can feel my bs meter pinging half the time.
Jingoism is a particular irritant.
I don't like it when anybody does it.
Reducing life to slogans irritates the crap out of me.
You see it all the time via bumper stickers.
Then you get the people who get verbal Diarrhea with the bumper stickers.
left or right..you are never going to fit the entirety of your personal convictions on the back of your vehicle.
I know you want to seem complex and multifaceted...like a thinker.
But you just come off as obnoxious and confused...so please stop.
rant over.

Spiritual.
still working my way through Luke.
I took back something I bought yesterday on a whim.
It cost too much and went against my "money is a tool not a toy" idea. (this could count as bumperstickerish..but there is truth in it and I didn't slap it on my vehicle.)
I sometimes think I use money like I used to use food, as a distraction to thinking and moving forward.
It was embarrassing to take the item back, but not as awful as the feeling I got every time I looked at the stupid item taking up space in my closet.
So...
Stop filling up boredom with exteriors.

Well,
Have a good one guys,
Hugs,
Chris

Found- one mojo..

Hey guys..
Had a really good day today.
Physical
I did a 3 mile walk.
I did 150 situps
I did 20 minutes with jack lalanne.
total burn approximately 400-450 cal.

I am having a hard time with the end bits on some because I don't have a glamour stretcher.
This little product is something jack came out with a long time ago (probably 'everyone' had one).
But my husband still has some therapy bands...I will hunt those down and use those.

my food
awesome sauce.
1 cup yogurt 150 cal.
2 tablespoons honey 120 cal.
1 apple 80 cal.
1 slice asian pear 5 cal.

2 cups coffee with 1/2 cup milk and
4T sugar 245
1 bite ramen 20 cal.
1 ham and cheese sandwich on small latortilla wrap
latortilla wrap 50 cal.
2 slices 2 percent kraft cheese 90 cal.
8 (thin) slices ham 60 cal.
1 T low fat miracle whip 20 cal.

1 banana 100 cal.
3 cups broccoli and cauliflaur 90 cal.
2 slices 2 percent kraft cheese 90 cal.
6.5 oz. turkey sausage 280 cal.

1 dream bar 80 cal.
total cals. 1480
I was shooting for between 1400/1500 and I succeeded.
I will be taking this a day at a time.
for some reason hunger isn't bothering me as much as it has been the last four months or so.

Mental.
Ready to drop the rest of this weight.
I am more comfortable in my own skin.
I have gotten better at ignoring staring/flirting
I can talk myself out of feeling threatened.
It's getting better.
I am prepared to eat well and less...for the next 21 days.
It's a little goal of mine.
make it 21 days and I am allowed one 1800 calorie day.
I just want to shoot for 21 days of less than 1500 because I haven't done it in a while.
day one was today.
This isn't for any challenge, just for me.

Spiritual.
Things that help me lately spiritually.
Recognizing that my battle may be tough on one level...
But it will never be this tough.

Ever.

I stumbled on this group of people and they humbled me with their faith.
And the blog above,
with her strength.
I would still be in bed.
or something.
I don't know.
Not typing out hope to parents who still have their own, albeit ill, children.
I go there and get my gratitude for my healthy kids restored, to get my attitude and mind checked.
To recognize the pain around me and realize that while I may have problems, mine are minimal in comparison...and to understand that while the pain is incomprehensible, the faith is something
I can try and emulate.

I got my mojo back
It slipped a little because I had a bunch of mental baggage to wade through.
Who was I thin?
I didn't want to get wrapped up in looks.
I want to stay grounded...a good person.
Could I be the same person thin?
I have answered those questions.
Yes.
I can..
just with more energy and a better shot at a longer life.
Have a great day.
Get out there and do it for you.
Hugs,
Chris

A thousand pounds and Answering questions...

Hey guys...it's saturday...
I found this video by Jack lalanne and loved it.
Because it's my philosophy.
Some of us are not trying to lose only 20 lbs.

(oh, and bubba...don't know if you are reading this, but your comment made me laugh...out loud.
Yes, You sure do look better losing the last twenty. )
I am focused on 20 now.
That is because I lost 110 already.
Couldn't lose that final 20 without losing the first 110.
I didn't think of losing that 110 lbs as
Oh, I have to lose over 100 pounds.
Because It would have been overwhelming.
I thought of it as 1 lb 100 times.

I took it 1 pound at a time.
1 pound is doable, 1 pound is not overwhelming.
or for you..
It could be 1 pound 200 or 300 times.
You can't lose 300 without losing 1
So don't look all the way down that road..you won't be able to see the end.
No one this side of the dirt is 'too far gone'.
That being said..
here's Jack.



Now, I was tagged by both amber and REva....
nice ladies both..
8 questions each..I'll answer both then make up my own in a future post and then pass them on: so...
first up..Amber's question.

*If you could do one thing over in life what would it be?
answer: The fifteen years I was fat...I would go back to when I was merely 40 lbs overweight..lose it and then start living at 21 instead of 36.

2. *If you could go back in time and live as someone else, who would it be?
answer: Adolph Hitler....People are always saying these fantastic people...in my book they did the whole thing right...I would just muck it up.
I pick adolph because I would KNOW what I was doing.
I would make sure he never gave up his aspirations as an artist and would avert ww2. Sure I'd live my life as a stumpy, angry man with a bad mustache and minimal artistic talent...but I would save millions. Not a bad tradeoff.
* Someone was offended by this. At this point the only person I truly care about is linda. I think anyone reading the whole answer knows my heart here. I can't jump off a bridge because I don't believe in suicide etc. I could have been his mother and killed him but don't believe in outright murder so my answer would to be, go back in time and make sure this dude didn't do the damage he ultimately did by making sure he lived the life of mediocrity he was destined for.
The good people have lived their lives right.
I think I offend this person. So, I will leave everything else as is.
Hope you all have a great night guys.

4.) Best trait in a person.
: honesty! (kept this answer from Reva cause I agree)

5. *What book or movie could you read or watch over and over and why?
answer: The count of monte cristo....beside jim caviezel being incredibly hot...

A little something for the ladies...

It is a message I whole heartedly agree with. Sure they disneyfied the book...but I love a good tale of revenge and then redemption...all with wavy hair and beautiful eyes....whooo hoo.

6. *Who do you admire and why?
answer: my friend amber...she is always there for people and she just keeps chugging.
My daughter kate. She is motivated from within. She is a hard worker and has her head on straight, and is honest.

7. *Jeans or sweats?
answer: Neither...sweats make me feel sloppy, jeans are binding. I prefer dress slacks or dresses...dresses being preferable.

8. *What is the one thing you would want others to remember about you?
answer: That I lived a life consistent with my values and I lived fully.

Now for Reva's questions:

1. If you had to choose only one favorite sweet thing what would it be?
sugar in my coffee.

2. Which is most like you; Pastels, rich reds and blues, greens and oranges and browns, lavendars and pinks? Yellow (I'm obstinate, aren't I)

3. what is your favorite memory of a childhood game or activity you enjoyed? (younger than 12) Reading

4. which would you have most enjoyed as a career other than what you have or are doing now and why? a starving artist in greenwich village.

5. What have you secretly felt you are very good at but usually don't talk about?
honestly, listening. I am good at listening to people.
Then again, if you are a good listener...why would you talk about it lol.

6. If you had a million dollars handed to you what is the first thing you would BUY?
I would buy my mom a house and land on Mackinac Island.

7. Have you ever shot a gun and have you ever been hunting? Yes to both...actually got a buck.

8. Which would you be most likely to adopt? a cat or dog, a zoo animal, a child relative, a special needs child, a baby, a grandma, a pet rock or a street to clean?
given the right opportunity, a child.


Well, I will try to think up 8 suitably interesting questions.
Have a great Weekend, I'll see you on MOnday.
Hugs,
Chris

Thank God it's friday

PHYSICAL
good so far, got my three mile walk in. still need to do situps and a workout with jack.
food....very good.
It may go down hill in a bit here.
I have been invited to 'sit' with some neighbors and imbibe an alcoholic beverage.
Most of me doesn't want to at all. But I am willing to invest 112 calories in 4 oz. of wine if it will make my neighbor feel that her birthday is being celebrated properly.
She is a nice lady.
I loathe alcohol.
food
bfast.
yogurt honey 360 cal.
two cups coffee 240 cal.
1 1/2 cups green beans with butter and 1/8 cup almond slivers (very very good) 250 cal,
1 apple 80
dinner 3 small latortilla wraps 150
4 T pizza sauce 50 cal
3/4 cup part skim mozzerella 240
4 oz ham 125 cal.
15 slices turkey pepperoni 70 cal.

calorie total sitting at 1565....
if I drink 4 oz of wine that puts me at 1680 calories.
we'll see.
I do know what a half a cup looks like, the bennies of weighing and measuring for almost a year and a half now.
mental...
fine. need a break but what else is new. will get that on Sunday
spiritual.
ditto...gotta say though that I heard about those kids getting shot in that school in california...
By a transient. There is so much wrong with that I can't even begin to elucidate.
If you are a transient, how do you pony up the dough for a gun?
The things I think.
Luckily, none of those kids were killed.
ugh.
well, gotta go do a jack video.
and situps.
see you tomorrow for my new Saturday with Jack lalanne dealie.
Have a great night..and remember
It's never too late to start or start over,
Have a great night guys.
Hugs,
chris

If you can't eat the calories...

Eat volume...

Hey guys.
I had a good day.
I had 1630 calories.
For lunch today I had

Physical.
2 cups of broccoli and 2 slices 2 percent cheese..
It was remarkably filling.

The rest of the day was: eggs and yogurt and turkey sausage and asparagus. No fruit today.
That's okay cause yesterday was nothing but fruit.

Good enough.
I burned 600 calories via elliptical and weight lifting.

Mental:
Good, really focused in today on 'focusing in on today'. lol.
not kidding. trying not to get ahead of myself mentally...taking each day as it comes.
doing what is right today.
relying on good choices TODAY.
Not yesterdays good choices or tomorrow's good choices.

Spiritual.
Good, managed to control myself and kept my opinions to myself in several situations.
I have learned there is very little to be gained handing out my opinions.
Do or do not...not talk about it till people are sick of hearing it.
I do my talking at the ballot box...which i cannot wait to get into.
I have never in my life been so eager to do my patriotic duty.

well, off to watch some jack lalanne inspirational videos and get myself prepared mentally for tomorrow.
Have a great night,
See you all tomorrow.
Hugs,
Chris

circle of influence vs. circle of concern

Hello guys,
Back again..
It's wednesday.
A good day.
I did quite a bit today.

Mental:
the last 20 lbs is as hard as the first 110 lbs.
Sorry.
that's the truth.
In fact, it may be harder.
Because there is so much less wiggle room and it is so much slower.
But I am getting there.
200 calories means nothing when you are 180 lbs and are racking up oodles of deficit with the exercise.
It means something when your deficit is a thin, thin line.
200 calories is the difference between 130 lbs and 150 lbs without exercise.
200 calories is two pieces of bread.
4 ounces of meat.
2 ounces of cheese.
It is very easy to go over that little amount.
This is why weighing and measuring is really key.

Physical.
Fantastic.
Jack and I met up after my 3 mile walk and 150 situps, and had a little time together.
He likes to remind me the "we girls' collect fat at the back of our thighs that make them look like "biscuits".
Thanks Jack.
It did have me kicking a little higher than usual though. lol.
food 1631 calories.
No white flour.
I did have an orange dream bar (orange sherbert 80 calories bad...I know)....
other than that I had lean protein, two cups of green beans with slivered almonds (which were really awesome.)
I had two whole grain waffles with 1/4 cup sugar free syrup.
I had 3 eggs and one piece of whole grain toast.
I had 1/4 cup of yogurt with 1 tablespoon honey.
I ate an apple.
2 slices of 2 percent cheese.
tasty.
good day.
I am going to buy more broccoli and those green beans with almonds.
I love those.
I am going to try and incorporate one day of fish next week.
Jack keeps talking about fish.
I don't really like fish.
but I will give it a shot.
He's 96, he must know what he was talking about.

spiritual.
choosing happiness.
choosing to live instead of worry.
Man, I used to think optimists were saps.
But now...
I think they have it all over pessimists.
They live longer,
are happier,
you name it.
I am halfway through luke...and am enjoying it.
I will tell you a philosophy I have been living by for about a year and a half now..
I got it from the seven habits of highly affective people....explained in this way

your circle of influence vs. your circle of concern.
If you focus on what you can control...do it with excellence and become an expert in your area.
You will expand your circle of influence.
If you focus on the things which concern you and don't work within your own sphere of influence...if you allow things which are not within your control to distract you, to suck your energy...not only will you continue to worry and increase your sense of helplessness...you won't be working on what you CAN control...your sphere of influence.

Let's go back once again to the nutjob in florida.
I could spend hours lamenting the fact that some whacko took it upon himself to randomly off people.
Or, I could spend time within my sphere of influence...talking to my children..instilling values and ensuring that they never take it into their wee skulls that they have the right to kill people indiscriminately.
or even better, once I get control over my own household..I can expand my sphere of influence to kids in my neighborhood...by having them over and being a good example...or by becoming a girl scout troop leader.
If each and every person would apply themselves within their sphere of influence (instead of wallowing helplessly in their sphere of concern, wringing their hands and lamenting the state of humanity) If they would apply their efforts toward doing good, there wouldn't be some man driving around florida shooting people, because his mama would have taught him better, his community would have reached out with mental care, I am sure there will always be people who decide to just do what they are going to do....I don't blame anyone for what this man did but him, but I think the instances could be greatly reduced if people would do their absolute best within the circumstances they CAN control.
That is my philosophy.
Hope you all have a great day,
Talk to you all tomorrow,
Hugs,
Chris

Picking the important battles.

Hey all,
okay...
I love this format, it helps me organize my thoughts...gets it all out there as it were.

Mental and spiritual are one today.
thought for the day.
fight the good fight. The one worth fighting for....
I don't know if any of you have ever seen miracle...It's a movie about the 1980 U.S.A. hockey team.
I cried during that movie.
Not at the end like you might expect.
I cried at Jim Craig...Goalie.



I understood his job completely.
That was my job.
As mom of my home...I knew what my presence or absence could do.
I have lived on the other end of the stick.
A loving, but absent mom.
She had to work.
She was tired.
She couldn't block the crap.

today as I drove my youngest to school she said
"I thought about how I would feel if you had to work too, it would make me sad".
There are days like that that make my choice feel validated, although even if I never heard it said I would still do it.
I get to drive my kids to school, get to see them when they come home.
Homeschooling has afforded me the opportunity to really know my kids.
I mean, like the back of my hand.
It's My good fight.
My kids and my marriage.
Blocking.
Block and save.
Yes, it was the goals that won it..But if Jim hadn't stopped all the bad from happening that victory never would have happened.
For instance:
As a military family we constantly moved.
curriculum would change...our family would be under constant strain.
I could stay put and endure year long separations from my husband that weren't necessary.
I could put my kids in and out of schools.
What did I do.
I made two decisions to minimize the damage.

1.) I would never allow my husband to deploy somewhere alone when we could go with him.
Never.
That meant 6 moves in 14 years..one to Germany..one when I was 8 months pregnant for 11 months after we had just bought our house.
I knew when we started separating voluntarily, that would be the beginning of the end.
Block...and save.

2.) my kids.
I homeschooled. It kept us together as a family...mitigated moving stress and we became good friends within our family.
Block and save.

3.) complete honesty with my kids.
I don't lie to them, ever.
I know some people think it's necessary, but it isn't.
The hardest part was when Tim went back to Iraq after my oldest daughter's friend's father was killed.
She said "Will daddy die?"
What do you say?
Say no?
It happens...and if it did,would you ever believe you again?
Probably not.
Say yes, you scar the kids and you have no idea if it's true.
My answer.
Maybe.
But if your dad does die, know that he died fighting for what he believed in.
Your dad would want you to be proud.
He will most likely come back safe and sound. But it is a possibility.
We have a saying in our family, "Old enough to ask the question...old enough to get an answer."
My kids trust me.
I trust them.
We don't lie to each other.
Block, save.


Pick your battles wisely, all the secondary crap is just that...crap.
Your health is a good fight to win.
It can mean the difference between there being a goalie in the net when it's your team's butt on the line...or an empty net.

Physical:
awesome sauce.
okay, I have to say something about Jack Lalanne.
I have been alternating workouts.
three days a week I do a three mile walk and then "30 minutes with Jack Lalanne"
on his website. (along with 150 situps.)
It's workouts from his old program.
I did this last night.
Me and my sophie have been doing the exercises together for the last week or so.
It seemed light duty to me.
We laughed through it.
laughs on me.
I go to the gym today to do my elliptical only to realize my thighs are sore.
I mean sore.
(after the elliptical I did my upper body toning and a half mile walk to stretch my legs...instead of upping my weight on my weights, I upped my reps to 3x15 for each exercise...back extension, flies, lat pulls and tricep extensions.)
Jack kicked my rear.
Hello students my right eye. lol.
I will be doing another walk and another jack workout tomorrow.
I will let you know how it goes.
My calories came in at 1630 again..again all good calories.
My burn was 600 on the elliptical...plus weights which I never know how to calculate so don't.
Hope you all had a great day and are doing well,
I know I am,
Hugs,
Chris

real food vs. crap

Hey guys.
How are you all, a bit late in posting.
That's okay though.
okay,
so mental...
Great day mentally.
main thought.
eat real food.
meaning whole food that hasn't been overly processed.
I am sitting at 1630 calories.
All of it good food.
nuts and raisins for lunch
eggs for breakfast.
beef and broccoli for dinner.
I want the food to be something my body can process, not something it has to discard or attempt to wade through to get to the nutrition.

spiritual.
Good here too.
realized I really don't like negativity in most forms.
not that I am a light weight mentally or anything.
Just no sense in pouring anger and fear into a perfectly decent mind.
I hadn't realized up till now how much news affected me.
I heard in passing today, a story of how some man ran around randomly gunning people down in florida.
Horrendous.
Affect on my life?
zero.
Not that I don't have sympathy for those poor people he killed...I do.
But there is nothing I can do about it, it affected no one I know, and it is over and not a threat currently here where I live.
Before I would have been sucked into that story, and allowed it to affect how I view the people around me.

Physical.
awesome,
not one bite of garbage.
I walked 3 miles and did a half hour of 'trimnastics' with jack lalanne...I do it with my youngest and it's quite a bit of fun!
lol.
I also did 160 situps...of varying kinds.
Tomorrow is the pumpkin patch with my youngest and her homeschool enrichment class.
She is very excited because she gets to ride on a school bus.
Havea great night guys, I have to get to sleep as I have to get up early.
Hope your days went well and you know that you are worth the effort.
I remember daily that it wasn't always easy for me.
In fact it seemed impossible at some points to ever lose the weight.
I thought I was destined to be fat forever.
But one day I woke up and realized that I COULD do it.
I am the same me I was.
No different.
except this time I realized I was worth the effort and the food wasn't helping, it was hurting.
So to those of you struggling,
hang in there.
stay positive.
Hugs,
Chris

Saturdays and Sundays with Jack lalanne...worry and problems.

I wanted to start with the mental with Jack.
I love this guy.
He seems simple...but when you get right down to it, most every thing in life is simple..
It's the human boobs like us that make it complicated.
I used to be a big worrier as well....
I thought worrying was inevitable.
It doesn't have to be.
So, with out further ado..
Here is Jack
Worry:
Enjoy.



Now onto problems.....your problems won't get better by ignoring your health. In fact, they may get worse..because you will be less able to deal with them..
so...problems.



Have a grand weekend..
starting Monday I am going to be dinging out my calories and reporting it here.
I intend to be a good example.
Have a good one guys,
Hugs,
Chris

Yeah! Welcome October....

I for one, am glad to see September in my rear view mirror..
Though as time goes on, I will probably find this month to be pivotal.
We never appreciate our hard times the way we should..
So, on with the format:
Physical;
I didn't weigh in this month...and my weigh in this morning left me virtually the same.
149.5 lbs.
I find I am ready to drop the pounds.
October is my month for some more weight loss .
3 lbs.
So 146.5 by October 31rst.
In september, I turned my attention from the food to my life.
I will discuss that below.
You will notice me not joining challenges.
I have enough challenges.
I will simply go back to eating what I was eating while dropping the pounds.
Turkey sausage, here I come...just had some tonight as a matter of fact.
I did a 3 mile walk and did a half hour of jack lalanne lower body toning.

mental:
This month was a struggle here.
fitting everything back into the puzzle after I had stripped so much out over the last year and a half,
while dealing with the mother of all funks...that was interesting to say the least.
but, it was illuminating.
Thought for the day:
consistency wins
My consistent exercise saved my bacon this month.
Back to being consistent with the food, while holding the line on all the other things I have included in my life.
My art.
My new church.
My daily bible reading.
My fridays with my oldest after school...(don't know If I talked about this..I started this about a month ago as well...I go to barnes and nobles after I pick her up and we hang out for about an hour and a half...It's a good way to spend time together and talk. )
Now,
on to the newest thing I am incorporating

SPIRITUAL
A day of rest.
Sunday.
I don't actually have one right now.
I manage to fill up every day with work, work, work.
So...
I will be doing a full on day of rest, on Sunday.

I will be going to church but I won't be:
A.) cleaning
B.) exercising
C.) cooking
D.) planning
E.) BLOGGING
OR
Bill paying..cleaning out cars, having people over, doing yard work, pondering the complexities of the universe or anything else.
I will hang out with God, and then my family.
We may end up at the park...who knows...
I will put my food in the crockpot the night before for dinner the next day....eat simple breakfasts with paper plates...sandwiches for lunch and the crockpot meal for dinner. The most I'll be doing is popping open some biscuits from a can.

If the amish can do it...the hardest working people out there.
I can do it.
If the orthodox Jews can do it.
I can do it.
Six days shalt thou labor (tomorrow is going to be Bill paying, grocery shopping, homeschool planning, pre make the sunday dinner and finish cleaning..)
I just have to make it a decision.

Like my eating healthy and my exercise.
Two years ago I decided that, and here I am.

One month ago I decided to draw..and I am drawing.

Three days ago I decided to have a day of rest.
That is what I am doing.
A day dedicated to God.
A day spent with my family, letting my stress gooooooo....lol.
Well,
Tomorrow will be my last posting for the week..and I am thinking of starting a new series..
Instead of Saturday Snark....I think I will be doing Saturdays with Jack lalanne.
I love this guy.
He is positive, and we need positivity so badly.
He is spot on about diet and exercise..he is an encourager...and a good way to start your week...so when people drop on by on my Sundays off blogging, they will see a positive, encouraging post.
I am choosing to be an optimist from here on out.
Have a good Friday everyone!
See you all tomorrow.
Hugs,
Chris