We interrupt this blog

for a major headache and a minor illness..
I think I may have some sort of thing they call a 'cold' or sickness...
This is rare for me so I hesitate to use the word 'illness'.
Mothers do not get sick...
So I will settle for symptoms.
Headache, joint pain and a general feeling of ill health.
My feet are freezing.
This only happens when I am 'sick' or giving birth..
pretty sure I am not giving birth.
So, in lieu of an actual healthy living update...
I leave you with funny puns.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

There was a sign on the lawn at a rehab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.

"A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat says to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'.

Now matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands.

An illiterate fisherman was lost at c.

I've never tipped a cow. Then again, one has never served me food.

She was only a whisky maker but he loved her still.

What do you call a arrogant fugitive falling from a building? Condescending.

and finally,

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other.

One says to the other, "Are you all right?"

"No, I lost an electron."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm positive."

have a good one,
will be back tomorrow...


Joy said...

Bummer so sad you are under the weather - get better soon!!!!

Thanks for the laugh!!

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

*groan* Now I'm sick, too...

Anonymous said...

Hope you feel better soon!

Ice Queen said...

Bwahahahahaha! Condescending... Tee-hee-hee.

I hope that you feel better, soon.

Robin said...

Too funny. Thanks for the chuckles. Hope you feel better tomorrow.

MargieAnne said...

Get well quick.

Can't handle any more funnies. My sides are sore.

Rettakat said...

Hope you feel better fast, Chris.

There is a guy on Facebook that thinks puns are Comedy for Cretins. Just to bug him (in case he is one of your devoted followers) I offer the following:

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

668: The Neighbor of the Beast

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.


Anonymous said...


Sorry to hear you were feeling under the weather yesterday. I hope today is a better day!

~South Beach Steve

Putz said...

nice to think you don't ALWAYS just think of weight loss>>.love you for the chuckles

TJ said...

oh no! Cooties are no fun, get well soon! :)

Anonymous said...

Hope you feel better. I'l be entertaining the kids all night. Thanks!

Juli's Journey said...

Feel better, Chris. I LOVE the puns. Needed a good giggle. Thanks.