I watched Peggy sue got married tonight...again.
I love that movie.
I don't think that movie means anything to the under 25 crowd.
I think you have to have some living under your belt for that movie to hit you square in the gut.
That movie makes you think.
If I had to do it all over again, would I change my choices?
I used to think YES.
But now I know better.
It turns out that it wasn't the things she did do that she would change...
It was the things she didn't do.
She didn't regret saying yes as much as she regretted saying no.
When she walks through the door to her childhood home and sees her mother (who has passed) I just bawl every time.
It's a good reminder that we need to cherish the time we do have with the people we love, because one day, we are going to want to hug our parents, grandparents, siblings or friends...and we won't be able to...they'll be gone, or living far away, or something may happen.
Like when she is sitting in her bedroom with her little sister, trying to play a board game with her...trying to build a memory because she has learned how important little moments are...
You just don't know.
That we should be kind, because it can make a difference. That we should enjoy ourselves and live life to the fullest, because it goes so quickly.
The best part of that movie, is how she keeps trying to change the choices she has made that have caused her pain, trying to save both herself and Charlie from years of unfulfilled dreams, but in the end realizes that the pain was worth having because it produced two people she couldn't live without...and also, even though it was painful...she still loved her husband. Even though he hurt her, she was willing to relive the hurt to have the relationship.
It really made me ask myself "Would I, If I truly could, if I had the opportunity..go back and change my choices? Knowing what I know now?
Some of my life would suck to relive...that's for sure.
But If I had gotten better grades in high school, I never would have joined the army, met my husband and then had my two kids.
It really makes you stop regretting the decisions you have made.
Maybe I would have chosen to eat better. I would have started living a fuller life sooner. But I am happy that I dropped the right eggs. Just sayin'.
Also, when you go through things as a married couple, and get through them....you love that person in a way you didn't before.You love the real them. You have seen them at their ugliest, most vulnerable, and then when they are fighting the hardest to get better or back on their feet. And you fall in love with the real them.
The first time I watched this, I was too young to appreciate it. I loathed Charlie.
This time I found myself trying to explain Charlie to my oldest daughter.
Kate, "Why would she love such an *ss hat?"
(I know, she is too young to cuss)
I said "Kate, you don't understand...while it isn't right what he did...he gave up everything he wanted to sell appliances, now the best years of his life have passed him by. All he can see is what he's lost...He is having a mid life crises."
At that age, you don't understand that as you make choices...your road narrows, until there is no road left but the one you made.
She doesn't understand.
She is fifteen.
She didn't see him when he was idealistic, and young and ready to take on the world.
What is that song....
The verve pipe...
For the life of me, I cannot remember...what made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise.
That is a good song. Very wise.
For me there is a lot more beauty in the love of two people who have sacrificed and gone through hell, then there is in romeo and juliet.
But you can't see that until you live it.
So, think carefully.
If it was truly within your power to change the entire course of your life, would you?
If you could, would you?
Your pondering blogger,