Hello all, Chris is tired from her incredibly long day.
First was church where her pastor (Thank God) was back...therefore stump was no where to be seen...
Then there was the cookie selling which included three hours of knocking on the doors of complete strangers to ask if they would 'like to buy some girl scout cookies' which Chris counts as her walk...or so she says.
So she is currently ensconced in solitude and is perfectly willing to allow me to express my dismay at the current state of clothing in America.
So, without further ado...
What the FURK is this?
When did THIS become fashionable?
Captain obvious was out and about yesterday.
when what should stumble into my peripheral but these amalgams of heinousness.
As if being unattractive in only one way wasn't good enough, someone thought to put skinny pant anklets on baggy bottomed britches....
Not content to merely allow the subtle illusion of a larger bottom with the inward slope of the cuff, these pants scream...wideload!
I have been informed that these are emo pants.
Pants for the depressed teen.
Which makes sense.
Look how droopy they are.
In that rear end there is Room for
your copy of slaughterhouse five
10 chemical romance cds
your therapists business card
a pocket comb
and a midget
I suppose this way, if you poop in your pants,
(because really, what is the point of going to the bathroom when the corporate oligarchy has declared war on your average joe and we are all just cogs in the capitalist pigs machine, while we rape the earth and kill the dolphins, and your mother never cared and she just doesn't understand how sensitive you are!)
It will not slide out the bottom, but merely cling to your inner thigh.
(should you go commando, as I am sure these style mavens do...not wanting the panty lines to mess with the silhouette and all .)
Where should you choose to bathe later
(but really, what's the point when life is just an endless miasma of trite happenstances where we are forced to conform to societal pressure...but I ain't giving in! I will rebel through the subtle defiance of deconstructed trousers! )
It will be easier to clean off.
In any case it would be a win/win for the incontinent set....
Captain obvious thinks if you are trying to construct your reality, or deconstruct, or make a statement around a pair of pants you may have a few GAPS in your logic.
Captain obvious would like to break in for a special announcement.
jack lalanne passed away today in california...
good bye Jack....And Thank you.