Back to build a bear...and songs that rip your heart out.

I went to build a bear today.
I am feeling a bit better...still a little squirrely, but better.
I managed to get down three solid meals and go to build a bear and take a three mile walk.
The whole time I was remembering Sue's shart story and made sure I was near 'facilities'.
Nothing 'bad' happened.
I got an owl from build a bear.
My kids recorded a message for my owl.
I had them shout 'Live deliberately."
I bought my owl a little cheerleading outfit.
pom poms and the whole nine yards.
I named it Hannah Hooter.
There is alot behind the name that I don't want to talk about.
Needless to say, It will keep me focused.
Sophie said she would push the button before bed every night.
It was wonderful to go back there a year later so much healthier.

Now on to the second part of my post.
My childhood wasn't great, but there are things in there that I don't want to lose...
I was listening to a song today on the radio.
Almost home by Craig Morgan...
There are some songs that just hit you in a certain way.
That song is one of those songs.
I remember going swimming down at 8 point lake in cut off jeans and t shirts and then climbing into the back of a pick up and going down to scott's party store to get an ice cream cone...we dried off while we rode.
I can still feel the heat that nearly burned my legs coming off the steel and rubber from the spare tire I always sat on.
The smell of mowed Hay....there is no other smell like it.
Like the smell just before it rains...or just after.
The smell of burning leaves.
The feel of the gravel road under your feet.
And the part where the man says
"Boy if you'd left me alone, right now I'd be fishing."
Gets me everytime.
I used to go and sit and fish for hours...not really fishing.
Just sitting.
In peace.
Then I thought...
Oh hell,
just do a whole playlist of songs that kill me.
I dare you to listen to me and little andy by dolly parton and NOT CRY.
I haven't been able to do it yet.
Have a great night guys,


Amber said...

Gotta post a picture of your little owl. Bet she's pretty cute in a cheerleader outfit!

Glad your feeling better.

Kim said...

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing as Amber. Post a pic of Hannah! :) I have a list that makes me emotional too...I've been staying away from it lately. lol..ya know w/ quitting smoking and all. You weigh 159...I'm so proud of you and that's very inspiring to me. Thanks for the advice over on my page. :) It helps so much..especially here lately.

Jessie said...

Perfect thing to record! I third the picture of Hannah :-)

Jess said...

I love the smell before and after the rain. Probably the freshest thing ever. If smells could smell peaceful, that's it.

I want to see pictures of this Hannah Hooter! I didn't know you could build owls at build-a-bear but I think building a Deliberate Life mascot is GENIUS. Maybe I need to pick up crochet and like...make myself one. I'd make myself an ewok. That would be awesome :)

Anyway, I'm glad you're healthier and happier, living deliberately!

Laura said...

The smell of a campfire fills me up with glee and nostalgia for my childhood. It just takes me back to some of the happiest times I had with my family.
Your owl sounds adorable and I'm throwing my vote into the pot that wants to see her!!!

Helen said...

That's a great story of overcoming Chris. Let's a a picture of the little Hooter.

Putz said...

i am up two pounds to 165, so your pep talks have not been helping me but i am not here for weight advice anyway, am intirqued by your bear hooter, hannah with two h's anf hooter with two big O'S<<<always been a big hooter fan

Putz said...

oh that is an QOL with big O's not a bear....well i'll be jiggered

Putz said...

an owl, an owl>>>>burmas shave>>>>after every three comments have to say burma shave, like on the old highway signs>>.remember????oh wait a minute you are much too young to remember that

Seth said...

I was attacked by an owl once...I might have to post that story sometime. Maybe I need to go to build a bear just so I can incorporate an owl story into my blog somehow too. it's a good story :)

I'm glad you had prepared for when you had to "go". good thinking.

Melissa said...

I bet Hannah is adorable!!

That song kills me too. It came out about the time my gfather had a stroke and was totally out of it. He thought his parents (dead for many years) still came to visit him and was always confused and wanted to go "home".

M Pax said...

Ah, that you're healthy and living deliberately. Fabulous. :D

Tricia said...

great job confronting old demons :) please share a pic of hannah

Lindsay said...

Awesome post! I'm glad you're healthy and living life to it's fullest :) You have done a great job sharing it:)

Robin said...

I cry to ME AND LITTLE ANDY every time. I do believe it was the B-side to WHY'D YOU COME IN HERE LOOKIN' LIKE THAT. I could be wrong about that, but I don't think so. I listened to it a lot and bawled like a baby every time. On a totally different note, I hit you again on HERE'S TO YOU THURSDAY. I hope you like it. Of course, you get the mom song, too;-)

Robin said...

I got your comment on my blog, but I wasn't sure you'd be back so I thought I better respond here. It was more of a celebration of your one year anniversary. But your answer was good, too. Did you watch the mom video?