5.29.2010

Serious Saturday Snark....

Hey all,
I skipped this last week because I wasn't nearly as irritated last week as I am today.
lol.
So...
A little story for you.
I am standing in line waiting to pay for my big bottle of water.
In walks three teenage boys.
yuppie types with izod shirts and plaid jorts.
So, they are talking about girls.
(none of these young men were particularly attractive..and their attitudes even less so)
They are assigning numbers to girls they know.
It's pissing me off.
So the pimply and large one says "I won't date a girl who isn't at least a 7".
At this point I turn and give them my death stare.
Then his friend says "Oh,  you would settle for a 2'.
( Guess he took my stare as a "You're not a 7' stare as opposed to a 'shut your obnoxious trap' stare.)
The obnoxious conversation continues.
So, not to say I snapped...but I snapped....
 and muttered loud enough to hear..
"So if a guy who's a two tops and a girl who is a seven minimum  make a baby....does a four pop out?"
dead silence.
I got to buy my water in peace.
Sometimes people piss me off.

Okay, saturday snark part deux...
Today I went to the gym on fort carson.
It was closed, so I went in search of one of the other mythic gyms on post that I had heard about.
I found one.
It was pretty nice.
So, I am on my elliptical.
peddling for all I'm worth.
There is a lady who is about 30 pounds heavier.
riding a recumbant.
now, I have been 30 pounds heavier.
I know what it's like.
I also know 'dialed in' when I see it.
so, she finishes 30 minutes of half hearted peddling.
She gets on an elliptical..oh, did I mention she is texting the whole time she is working out?
She gets on the elliptical...and at cool down pace does 20 more minutes.
By cool down pace I mean, circle............circle.............circle................circle........................
I can hear her later....
"I work out an hour a day, Why can't I lose weight?"
You would lose more weight licking stamps. Each stamp is 2 calories by the way.
Sometimes I wish I were a trainer with a cattle prod
"MOVE YOUR @SS, STOP CRYING....MOVE I SAID!!!!!"
Alas, tis only a dream.

Saturday snark part three..
Apparently that whole "Block the hole with mud' thing isn't working in the gulf of Mexico.
I say we try fat, overpaid BP executives next.

Oh, and I would love to make a badge..
How do I do that?
Your clueless blogger,
Chris

18 comments:

TaDa said...

good luck with the badge.. I tried... I did get a button though... good for you on the boys.. sometimes kids need a wake up call... the oil thing is just awful... to many chiefs and not enough indians...

hugs

Debrah said...

2+7=4 LOVE IT! Humor is the best snark.

Robin said...

I think it is awesome that you stepped up and said anything in line at the store. I know that I would have just stewed in my juice and then muttered in the parking lot. Your muttering for them to hear it was much more effective. And you might have actually given them something to think about.

As for your other snarks... check and check.

Ice Queen said...

Bwahahaha! I love Saturday Snark.

I have no idea how to make a badge. I guess you could find an image that you really love, snag it to your puter, go to FotoFlexer and upload it there and add text and so forth. Then save the finished product back to your puter and upload it where you want it.

That is probably what I would do. :D

Deb Willbefree said...

RE: Badge. I don't know how you're supposed to do it, but I do it loke Ice Queen said. :) Deb

Janece said...

LOVE your comment to stupid teenage boys!! Went on a date once the guys actually said to me, "I normally date girls who are at least an 8." Uhhhh, so I will just call a cab now, RUDE MUCH??? No, neither of us were teens!

Hope you are having a great weekend!

Janece

Julie, The Accidental Fat Chick said...

I think my sister in law was at your gym today, lol. Not possible, but she is the queen of lack luster effort in the gym. She had been going for a month and NEVER broken a sweat! I'm not one to belittle anyone's efforts... but geez some people need to get a clue.

LOVE what you said for those boys to hear. Hope it put them in their place. :)

Rettakat said...

Or, if you want to make a fancy blog button, here are some detailed instructions:

http://oikology101.blogspot.com/2008/09/make-your-own-button-for-your-blogger.html

Loretta
=^..^=

karen@fitnessjourney said...

How I'd love a dollar for every time I've heard someone say they can't lose weight but they don't put in a lick of intensity to their workout. I'd be rich, rich I tell you!

Chances are if you told that woman the truth, she would have been really pissed anyway.

cmoursler said...

@ janece, you should have said "ditto'.

Melissa said...

Cracking me up with those boys. LOL Love it!

99ToGo said...

What is it with grocery store lines and cheap men? A friend of mine was next to a old geezer in line who was telling the male clerk that he doesn't go to the local Hooters because the girls look too much like "Southern Georgia" girls. She piped up and responded that that's the exact same reason she doesn't go to the local Hooters. (Neither of us know what "southern Georgia" girls look like, nor would either of us set foot in a Hooters...but whatever the case, the man shut his trap. I'm still giggling about your muttered retort :)

Mrs. Happy Pants said...

I left you an award. Yep. It's on my blog. :-)

Paula Rodriguez said...

Chris... how i wish I was there to see the look on those boy's faces. Priceless. Would make an awesome mastercard commercial. Love it when you're feeling snarky...

I hear you about the gal in the gym. I am that person sometimes and it helps to get prodded.

Luv it when you're snarky...

logmyloss said...

"So if a guy who's a two tops and a girl who is a seven minimum make a baby....does a four pop out?"

WOW - PRICELESS!!

Regarding a badge, if you don't have experience with a graphics program, it might be hard to do. Shoot me an email with a description of what you are looking for. I am not great with the graphics programs, but I might be able to make it for you.

Tammy said...

I'm doing Kandice's challenge to lose weight and she made her own badge for it...she's at No More Chunky Dunking... on my blogroll...you might want to msg her and ask her.

I can NOT even believe you said that loud enough for those idiots to hear...that ROCKS!! Oh I wish I would have been there, lol.

And about Southern Georgia girls...ahem. lol Technically I'm from Florida I guess, implanted in Georgia now...but cute is cute. :)

Linda Pressman said...

Chris, awesome on telling off the boys! When I was heavy I was always afraid of males like that, that they would turn on me and call me a cow or something. When I lost weight, knowing that couldn't happen, I felt a lot more power to speak up, but somehow I feel like you would've spoken up no matter what!

I stand in my exercise class and see people flomping around all the time and I imagine the same conversations going on: "Honey, I'm going to Jazzercise every day! Why isn't it working?" Well, guess what? You actually have to work out!

Kim said...

Hey, how do you make a badge? I'd like to know. :) Oh, and if 10 is the highest number they give....then most women would be way too much woman for them. Silly boys.