I skipped this last week because I wasn't nearly as irritated last week as I am today.
A little story for you.
I am standing in line waiting to pay for my big bottle of water.
In walks three teenage boys.
yuppie types with izod shirts and plaid jorts.
So, they are talking about girls.
(none of these young men were particularly attractive..and their attitudes even less so)
They are assigning numbers to girls they know.
It's pissing me off.
So the pimply and large one says "I won't date a girl who isn't at least a 7".
At this point I turn and give them my death stare.
Then his friend says "Oh, you would settle for a 2'.
( Guess he took my stare as a "You're not a 7' stare as opposed to a 'shut your obnoxious trap' stare.)
The obnoxious conversation continues.
So, not to say I snapped...but I snapped....
and muttered loud enough to hear..
"So if a guy who's a two tops and a girl who is a seven minimum make a baby....does a four pop out?"
I got to buy my water in peace.
Sometimes people piss me off.
Okay, saturday snark part deux...
Today I went to the gym on fort carson.
It was closed, so I went in search of one of the other mythic gyms on post that I had heard about.
I found one.
It was pretty nice.
So, I am on my elliptical.
peddling for all I'm worth.
There is a lady who is about 30 pounds heavier.
riding a recumbant.
now, I have been 30 pounds heavier.
I know what it's like.
I also know 'dialed in' when I see it.
so, she finishes 30 minutes of half hearted peddling.
She gets on an elliptical..oh, did I mention she is texting the whole time she is working out?
She gets on the elliptical...and at cool down pace does 20 more minutes.
By cool down pace I mean, circle............circle.............circle................circle........................
I can hear her later....
"I work out an hour a day, Why can't I lose weight?"
You would lose more weight licking stamps. Each stamp is 2 calories by the way.
Sometimes I wish I were a trainer with a cattle prod
"MOVE YOUR @SS, STOP CRYING....MOVE I SAID!!!!!"
Alas, tis only a dream.
Saturday snark part three..
Apparently that whole "Block the hole with mud' thing isn't working in the gulf of Mexico.
I say we try fat, overpaid BP executives next.
Oh, and I would love to make a badge..
How do I do that?
Your clueless blogger,