5.07.2010

Uh oh...I'm Bored....and irritated... let's break out the snark .

okay, It's one of those days.
And on "One of Those days'.
Things irritate me.
Silly things.
Things like this article...

How to Dress Sexy: a Style Guide Inspired by the Blazing-Hot Scarlett Johansson

 So, I thought...(using the advice given)

I would give some grand examples of how to be HOT  like Scarlett Johansson.

Because to be HOT like Scarlett Johansson, apparently...all you need is the following:

1.) Wear a little lace...cause guys LURV lingerie...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 But much like this lady, keep it "classy'....

 

2.)  Try some playful prints...Now with this one...it says wearing playful prints shows a 'sense of humor'...why mess around? Not I.

Why settle for merely playful when You can have a dress you can PLAY WITH?!

How hot is that??? 

Very.

In fact, it's probably stifling.

3.) Borrow from the boys....

Well girls...you don't have to go 'frilly all the time'....to be hot like Scarlett you just need to Borrow a little something from the boys, Like a suit jacket and as long as your wear some "Don't mess with me heels' with it...you will 

STILL  BE SEXY.





And trust me, nothing says don't mess with me like these heels.

4.) Invest in a pair of 'Sassy heels"

Because 'Bright, Look at me heels can turn even the most boring outfits into 'Datenight Material'

 

I think, girls...that we can all agree that these heels speak for themselves.



5.) Channel your inner marilyn....
Yes Divorce is a drag, but to be desirable, you need to have some cache...and multiple marriages just scream "Wanted, but hard to hold on to."
But you do what you must to be sexy...even if it means the last month's of your life are spent in a drug induced haze...It gives your eyes that 'hazy look' that men love, the look that says "My expectations are in the basement, and I won't remember a thing in the morning"...

6.)  Sex up a "lady like" dress with a 'casual up do'...like this here:


Nothing says 'sexy' like that "Just got out of bed after spending a night in a crack den" look...






7.) Flirt with animal prints....











Not the animals.
8.) Last, but certainly Not least...
(*Now 9 was supposed to be the last one...but honestly..DON'T HOG THE SPOTLIGHT...
How dumb is that advice...uh, VERY.)

NOW number 8...
Wear RED.
The color...totally hot.
Red lips...bedroom eyes...It will keep all.eyes.on.you...

Again...I turn to the inimitable Courtney love...
Cause Nothing and I mean NOTHING says HOT like red lips.

There, Now you...through the power of one magazine article and it's stellar advice, You too can channel the hotness that is Scarlett
Johansson.
Your welcome.

Well, I went to the gym and did fifty minutes on the elliptical and 20 minutes on the stair master...
Then I did 200 sit ups.
My calories are in under 1500...
I am now in search of some lace and some sexy heels.
Have a good one guys..
Chris out.

13 comments:

Julie Lost and Found said...

Oh you are funny!!!

I've had one of THOSE days today..one of those WEEKS!@!!!!

Hoping you have a great weekeend!!!

✯FiTCETERA✯ said...

I think I'll stick to channeling lukewarm. Or tepid even.

Thanks for the laugh, Chris.
Hope you have a less irritating weekend!

Linda Pressman said...

Funny! Message to Ms. Love: buy a bra or wear a shawl. Thank you.

deisegirl said...

When I logged onto my blog and checking through favourite blogs updated, I was wondering what the hell is Kate Garraway (UK TV "personality") doing on Chris's blog...heh. Class-y.

Your latest pic looks amazing by the way, love that top you're wearing. Nice to to wear things that "accentuate" rather than "cover" isn't it?!

Leslie said...

I loves me some snark! Good yuks. Scarlett is great. Courtney Love just can't seem to get enough rehab.

Check out my post from Friday because I talked about a "boredom busters" challenge another blogger posed. Simple, productive, and things to do other than think of food. You seem to be past that, but not moi.

Hey - what happened to the extra 10 sit ups? You slackin? har har!

Putz said...

seriously you have a lot more class than any of those you depict on your blog>>you are admired, they are not plus you are sexy also

TJ said...

LOL those cracked heels made me wanna go for a pedicure real bad!!!

Sorry you are bored & irritated- but I loved the snark! Feel better my friend....u made me chuckle- thank you! :)

Robin said...

Every now and then the fashion mags get hold of pics of celebs without make-up and hair and they look...average. And I know those pictures are designed to make them look bad and they are intended to be hurtful. I find those pictures refreshing. I like knowing that the reason they look so glammed up is because it took a hair and make-up person and maybe some photoshopping to get them there. Otherwise, they look like the rest of us. That is *attainable.*

Rettakat said...

Don't ya just love the "expert advice" in these magazines...

Let's hear it for snark!
Loretta
=^..^=

Sheilagh (60 x60) said...

Love it!!
Thank you:o)

Tricia said...

ha!

4athomej said...

LMAO...that's all I can say...

LA said...

I needed the laugh. ;) Thank you!! LOL!!