For my Husband, on our anniversary...

I know I talk about my husband.
I have talked about our rough patch.
I have talked about our discussions.
Unfairly perhaps...because it only comes up in the context of  my weight loss.
So today on the eve of our 17th anniversary, I wanted to write something you don't know..
My husband has grown into a man I love and respect even more than the day I married him.
He was a green beret.
At my request, when he retired...instead of moving on to the inevitable blackwater position and making oodles of money overseas as a private security contractor...and missing that many more years together as a family.
He stayed here with us.
He became a Wackenhut security guard for 13 dollars an hour.
Because I asked him to.
Because our daughters asked him to.
You see, after spending the majority of our married life separated, I learned money isn't the most important thing. Time together is..
He is insulted daily.
He's called rent a cop, he is told about how he needs to go out and really experience life...like the 20 year old kid who spent two years in the army...talked down to by police officers. 
They have no idea who they are talking to.
They have no idea he was on an A team in special forces..
They just see a 40 year old man who walks with a limp after complications from giving his kidney to his little brother.
They don't know how he and his team, with the assistance from the kurds, held off an entire Iraqi division In northern Iraq while the army invaded from the south to kick off the war (If you want that story, read the book lords of chaos.)
They don't know he has scaled mountains the world over. And taught others to do the same.
That He did cold weather training in the north pole with the inuits, that he can make a radio out what he finds laying around..that he can identify just about any weapon that you put in front of him.
They don't know because he doesn't tell them
They just see a security guard.

He does it for us.
For his family.
It makes me love him more each day.
Now that is a real man.

So on our 17th anniversary.
I just want to say, I am a lucky woman.
I love you Tim.


Deb Willbefree said...

Awww, Chris, that's beautiful.
He's lucky to have you.

And, yes, he has given you an immeasurable gift. He has sacrificed his ego for you--it shows that he not only loves you, but that there is nothing that he needs to prove to anyone. That's a place most men never reach.

And, you know, this post made me pause to wonder how often have I made assumptions about people, when I have no idea the truth their lives hold. Jesus said, "Judge not..." for a reason.


Morgan said...

What a wonderful post. I am so glad that you have such a truly wonderful husband. You deserve him and it sounds like he deserves you. I hope you have a wonderfully happy anniversary! (and 17 is my lucky number!)

Rettakat said...

This was beautiful to read. It's so true... everyone has a story. Yet we forget to look beyond the surface, or just don't think to ask.

Happy 17th to both of you.

Syl said...

happy anniversary!

The_Exquisite_Christine said...

Thank you, Tim.

Happy Anniversary to you both!


Iniya said...


What a beautiful post. You are indeed lucky and like most lucky people you have earned your luck.

I do read your blog regularly. You write so well and sensibly. (Sorry about not commenting often).

Wish you many many appy years ahead.


Julie, The Accidental Fat Chick said...

You definitely have yourself a good man! Happy anniversary!! :)

spunkysuzi said...

You are both wonderful people!!
I have to admit i've really worked on not judging people. They each have a story to tell.

Ali said...

This is lovely. Thanks for sharing a little of your husband with us.

And Happy Anniversary to you both!

Jenn said...

Very lovely post! Happy Anniversary to you both and wishing you many many more years together!

Sean Anderson said...

That was incredibly beautiful. Thank you so much for writing.
Give Tim my thanks and my best, admiration and respect---always.


MargieAnne said...


You have a wonderful husband and your love for him shines through as much as his for you. I call what you have TRUE LOVE.

Blessings for your Special Day. May it be memorable for the right reasons.

Dani @ WRW said...

Happy Anniversary to you both! =)

Linda Pressman said...

Chris, first, Happy 17th anniversary! We were both married in 1993. I'm just a whole lot older than you...

And your post reminds me that no one should ever judge a book by its cover. There's always a story. We're not the cars we drive, not the houses we live in, and maybe not even the jobs we work sometimes. What we are is what's inside. Really lovely.

carla said...

marriage is a rollercoaster and the most important thing (here anyway.14 years.) is just waking up each morning and CHOOSING to be married all over again.

hope you had a great one.


Helen said...

Beautiful tribute to your Mr. Chris. And, can I just ditto what the Miz said? Cause it's so so so so true.

Sheilagh (60 x60) said...

Wonderful post Chris, you are a great couple, the love you have for each other is an example to us all. Getting the priorites right is so important in a marriage and you have both done that. I agree with Suzi, I try not to judge, don't always succeed but I am much better than I was, thanks to my man. Congratulations to you and your quiet hero. Have a great anniversary.

MB said...

Beautiful post for an amazing guy. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Mrs. Happy Pants said...

Looks like you both married good people.
Please tell him thanks for all his service. Especially resisting the urge to backhand people who call him a rent-a-cop.
That alone is pretty hard. :)

Alexia said...

lovely! happy anniversary, chris.

Natalia said...

Beautiful! :) Happy Anniversary to you both.

Amber said...

Happy Annivarsary you two!
Glad were neighbors and have been able to get to know you both, and the kiddos too.

Tell Tim Thanks again for his service time!


She woke up FAT said...

You made me cry. I can relate.. My husband is an A/C tech. Some people just see him as a laborer but what they don't know is that he was an army specialist, he is a student working on an Engineering degree. He has a very high I.Q but doesn't talk about it.

Wishing you a Happy anniversary. Love is what life is all about.

Patsy said...

Brought tears to my eyes! Happy Anniversary. :o)

bbubblyb said...

Darn you made me cry Chris. Happy Anniversary! He's a lucky man to be loved so much.

SeattleRunnerGirl said...

What a great post, and what a great husband. I love the way you talk about "what people don't know." YOU know, and HE knows, and that's all that matters.

Happy anniversary!

Splurgie said...

What a wonderful man ...you must be very proud. Happy Anniversary and many more.

outdoor.mom said...

Selah!! What an awesome man :-) I feel that way about my husband too. I hate it when people don't see what a man he truly is. People are just ignorant.

Tammy said...

Good Lord I'm bawling!!! How beautiful. :)

Robin said...

Happy Anniversary Chris. I hope you print this out for him to read because it was really lovely and clearly heartfelt. He is also a very lucky man.

logmyloss said...

What a great tribute to him. Happy anniversary!

Spaghetti Cat said...

What a wonderful post. I almost cried. My husband is in the military currently, so this hits home for me. He is a very lucky man to have you, but wow, what an awesome husband :)