Saturday Snark...

Okay, saturdays are duds...at least around blogland.
So Instead of putting good brain power to waste...I think each Saturday I will have a little laugh at other's expense.

Does this mean I am not compassionate?
It does mean my bullsh*t meter is up and running.

This Saturday will be
Parents who deserve to have their parenting license taken away....(Oh, I know...parents aren't required to HAVE a license...but we can dream.)
Starting with
Billy Ray Cyrus
For this little gem....
and subsequent quote:
Billy Ray Cyrus said, “It’s what people her age do.”

Really?  REALLY!?
My goodness, I had no idea!
So, venturing into my own 16 year old daughter's bedroom...I meekly inquired as to whether giving lap dances or in more updated venacular...doing the bump and grind on a 44 year old man's lap was just something your average 16 year old girl does these days, My daughter responded "WHAT!?"
"What is wrong with you?"
Then she told me she was busy...and kicked me out.

Maybe what Billy meant to say was, "It's what people her age do when the parents abdicate their parental authority in exchange for their daughter earning enough money to keep the parental units in the style to which they've become accustomed"...
or some such thing.
Who knows.

Parents who need to be stripped of their parenting license...
Number 2:

What do you do when your daughter is a raging alcoholic and drug abuser...
Get her help maybe?
Gah....YOU'RE a drag.
What fun would THAT be...
No, if you are Dina Lohan you take your daughter here

Why risk being a drag and a downer....
She's the 'fun' mom.

And last, but certainly not least...
A whole gaggle of idiots.

Number 3:
Why wait till 16 to prematurely sexualize your daughter when You can start at 7 ?
Good question.

Nothing shouts good taste like seven years olds in stripper boots and bikinis.
I would be more impressed with their dancing if visions of stripper poles weren't dancing in my head...

As Chris Rock once said:
(caution, strong language in the link)
"Sometimes I am walking with my daughter, I'm talking to my daughter, I'm looking at her, I'm pushing her in the stroller. And sometimes I pick her up and I just stare at her and I realize my only job in life is to keep her off the pole.
"Keep my baby off the pole!
"I mean they don't grade fathers but if your daughter is a stripper you f*&$#@ up."

I agree.

Today was my dieting and exercise vacay.
I eat 1800 calories on Saturdays.  I also do no exercise except what I do with my kids.
Today I spent at my house cleaning and relaxing.
Wednesdays will be 1600 calorie days and the rest will be between 1400-1500.
I won't have splurge days anymore because I don't think they were promoting a better attitude towards food.
I need to develop a new relationship with food and stop 'rewarding' myself once a month.
Eating a bit more on Saturdays from now until I reach my goal will be enough.
If I want a treat, working it into my normal weekly eating will have to be the new norm.
I will see how the calorie count works. If I have to up it after a while to stop losing I will.
There are still days where I won't be counting...Thanksgiving, Christmas eve.
But they will be few and far between. Mostly I am trying to learn balance and how to eat healthy amounts, healthy portions.
This is the beginnings of my maintenance mode. No, I am not at goal..but as I get closer I want to be more in line with HOW I am going to eat for the rest of my life.
Well, this post is long enough.
Have a great Saturday night.
I am off to fold laundry.


DL White said...

Hi Chris!

I had a question for you. I've been reading you for a while and I'm curious about your calorie counts.

I could not possibly eat 1800 calories of food on any day-- maybe if I was binge eating, but normally I don't eat much. I've been tracking my food, eating on purpose and not mindlessly grazing like I used to, but even when I TRY, I can get in about 1200 calories. Even then I have to stop eating around 7 or 8pm.

Is it because of all of the exercise you do, that you can keep your calories so high and still lose? I guess I get frustrated because I see people with such high calorie counts...on a normal day, I can't eat that much food, let alone if I was slimming down. We all have different body types, I guess and I have sugar issues to consider as well. Anyway, was just wondering.

I am just about halfway done with my month of walking everyday. Some days I try to talk myself out of it, but I always end up doing at lest a mile. Not sure what I'll do when May is over. I kind of can't imagine not doing it!

Anonymous said...

Don't ya know, it's ok that Miley was grinding on this guy because he's gay. So it's perfectly fine and normal. /sarcasm

Brightcetera said...

I've got nothing snarky to add.
I just agree with you, that's all.

Since things tend to snowball, I really shudder to think of what the next acceptable thing for young girls to do will be. There are no boundaries.
I guess the new thing at school is to wear lipstick in different shades so that the boys will know which girls will perform which sex acts. We're talking girls as young as 12.

As for the eating ... I'm finding myself eating intuitively most of the time. I'm not obsessing so much this time around about what to eat and when. I think I'm eating in a manner that I will continue for the rest of my life. Of course I don't have the benefit of hindsight yet so I may see tweeks in the future.

have a great Sunday, Chris.
I enjoyed the post as usual. :D

Linda Pressman said...

Love the snark Saturday, Chris! And a twist on Chris Rock's quote: if your daughter's an out of work, alcoholic actress, you haven't done your job.

Can parents just act like parents and stop pretending they're the kids' friends?

outdoor.mom said...

happy folding :-) talk about lousy parents, the depravity of society. Looks like you are doing well and planning well as usual. Enjoy the time with your kids!

99ToGo said...

Whew, it's a cultural landmine out there. I'm thinking of hauling my two girls off to Montana until they're grown and capable of seeing why they need to steer clear of poles and various lipstick shades...
I, too, am curious about your calorie count. I only get up to 14-1600 calories if I workout for over an hour at a pretty high intensity. My base calorie count (prior to exercise) is barely 1000. And I'm lucky to lose 1-2 pounds per week that way. Help!!

Anonymous said...

Boy Chris, I couldn't agree with you more. There are some real epic parenting fails out there.

Unknown said...

I love the snarky saturday! lol I also agree with you- I totally do not blame that (gay) male producer for HER behavior, I blame her parents 100%! No innocent virginal 16 year old dances like that. WAKE UP!

Sean Anderson said...

I agree 110%. Loved the Chris Rock bit too...very true.

Great epiphany about the "free day." I had that one early on---deciding that it didn't make sense really. If eating responsibly was my goal for the rest of my life---and building a new relationship with food was my aim...then why would I need to "go nuts" once a week?

It sounds great---if what we do the rest of the time is just a means to lose weight---but if real change is the goal, and it is...then how can I gorge on a free day?

Does an alcoholic allow a drunk day? NO!

But then---a fitness trainer and friend of mine talked to a group recently about her weekends. She said that she has a few meals where anything goes. But Monday thru Friday, she's eating great and in a responsible way.
As she spoke---I cringed. I didn't agree---and that's when I realized something---Maybe we all have varying degrees of addiction. Maybe she's not the level of food addict as me. I know me. One all out binge day could have devastating effects mentally....and then, after completely falling===physically.
I just want normalcy. And that's what I've found. And I will defend it!!! I'll still eat anything...and enjoy responsible portions...and occasionally enjoy something that might raise an eyebrow---But normal non-food addicts do that.
I may always be a food addict inside. But knowing and being honest about it---puts me in a position to be thin, healthy, and in control the rest of my life!!!

We're so on the same wave length my friend.
I always enjoy reading you!!!

My best always
Oh---maybe I should have made this an e-mail. Sorry for the long comment!!


Julie Lost and Found said...

I just went into my 18 year old daughter's room. She's laying on her bed watching "Survivor"

I said "Hey Lizzie, question. Is this what you girls do? Do you usually give bumping and grinding lap dances to 44 year old men?" Her jaw dropped, and she said "huh?? what are you talking about mom??? EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW...leave me alone! GROSS!!!"

Yeah, guess that's what they're all doing!

Diane, Fit to the Finish said...

Reading this made me mad for all those young kids whose parents really are setting their kids up for serious problems down the road. {RAGE}

I think your ideas on practicing how you will live in permanent maintenance are really sound. It really is about a lifestyle change, and honestly, maintenance shouldn't look a lot different from what you do to lose weight! Great job!

Putz said...

so talking about parents and paenting liceses what about those parents of justin in utah, i hear the dad after starving him etc tc, took a hammer to him before he buried him>>>lucky you dont live here in utah but way over there in colorado

Christine said...

Geez Mr. Putz.
I don't know what's wrong with people.
I have two girls and they are the biggest blessing I have been given.
i can't imagine that. i am really really glad that I dont' watch cable news anymore. I read some sources online for news and let it go.
For just the reason above.
There is nothing I can do for that boy now.
It's too sad for words.

Robin said...

One can only hope that these young stars will turn it around DESPITE their parents. Drew Barrymore seems to have gotten her act together. I think she hit rock bottom before she got there, and both of her parents were pressing the buttons for the bottom floor. My understanding is that she had drug/alcohol problems while she was a kid and teenager. Her mom (like Lindsay's mom) took her clubbing, and was more than happy to liquor her up. It's very sad. However, I think she overcame it, so there is hope. But, it wasn't because her parents were doing their jobs. It was in SPITE of them. Shame on these parents!