um, not really.
I was today though.
I went and enrolled my youngest in a one day per week homeschool enrichment course.
I talked about this before....I stated I was the fattest mom there.
So, I took Sophie to enroll her.
We walk in and Mrs. Padilla was all "Hey sophie, are you coming back this year."
"Sophie says "YEah!...can we have a tour."
(Now I am sitting about four feet away filling out the paperwork...)
For some reason I didn't want to call attention to myself.
I just sat there.
She looks around, she glances at me, glances over me...
and then turns to Sophie and says "Tell your mom when I am done, I will give you a tour."
She didn't even recognize me.
That was crazy.
I "know" I look different.
But it makes me wonder if the store clerks even know who I am.
Heck, the Jehovah's witness guy who sees me once a month didn't recognize me.
I have a new driver's license, and if I can figure out how to scan it to my computer...I will upload it to show you guys.
I like my picture.
I showed it to my husband and my kids.
I look nice, not fat...just normal.
This afternoon, on my LAW, I had an imaginary conversation with my brother in law.
He stated to my husband on the phone, that he wishes he had my willpower.
He is definately 100 pounds or more overweight.
It affects him. It bothers him.
I will never forget him breaking a chair and the look on his face.
It could have just as easily been me..
So the "no willpower' comment...
That bothered me.
The truth is, I don't rely on willpower.
It works for a day or two.
But I realized early on that I needed a strategy.
A game plan.
I had this whole conversation with him.
I was telling him that to start with, I didn't rely on willpower.
I gave myself enough calories starting that I felt decently full every night.
That it had to be something you could live with...
That he had to accept that it may take years.
(When I started I had 3 years as my time frame)
When you look at it as a long term deal, it takes the impatience away.
I told him That he has to erase the bad tape and replace it.
I had him walking and eating 2000 calories in my head before the end of my walk.
But you know, I have no idea if he will even ask me how....or why.
I just know that if he does...I want to be ready.
So I am going to start writing things down so I can clarify what I believe.
There are some things I can give him...
the Reverse it poem Jack wrote.
Sean's blog addy.
I may even buy him a digital scale.
But the want to...it has to come from him.
I can't give that to him.
I don't know if my way would work for him.
I do know some things are universal...
You can't be hungry all the time.
You can't feel deprived all the time.
And you can't use food to numb your feelings anymore.
You should exercise, it makes you feel better.
And you have to look and live long term.
Maybe I can yidder most of this at him before he tunes me out. lol.
Well, that's about all.
1450 cals. and a 5.6 mile walk.
NOt bad today.