Well, I took a walk today and ate well. Higher than my usual number of cals.
Tomorrow it's back to writing it all down. I came in at 1700.
With my 4 mile walk that is maintenance for a 130 lb woman..so not too bad.
But I would like to knock about 200 calories off that total.
To do that, writing down every last thing I eat helps me to....
The power of focus,or the intense concentration on an object or goal...
It is critical when you reach this stage of the game.
I feel fantastic.
I am not tired.
I feel pretty.
I am pursuing my goals and my hobbies.
I am enjoying my family.
Before I had the constant pain and humiliation to motivate me...
Not a whole lot is missing in this equation.
But I am still technically overweight.
You may wonder why I still want to get to goal if I feel so good.
To say I did it.
I want to finish it.
So, now I need to focus.
On the numbers-daily...not the scale until I am sure I am past a certain point.
I have a pair of size 6 goal pants hanging on the wall.
When I can put them on and zip them up without damaging internal organs,
then I will weigh.
I have always had good focus when I set out to achieve something.
Better than average actually.
I will tell you why.
When I was 5 my mom took me to the doctor because I was exhibiting funny symptoms.
I would sometimes space out.
I would get 'overexcited' and then stand in the middle of the room and rock and wiggle my hands.
When I would get like that, nobody could get through to me.
So, she took me to a doctor who told her I was autistic...mildly autistic.
She thought he was calling me retarded.
That didn't go over well.
She told him I was reading at four and whatnot and we left that office in a huff.
or at least she did.
I don't remember it.
I do remember going into trances.
In my trances I was putting the Eiffel tower together in my head..each beam, each bolt.
It helped me feel comforted.
I did it once in school in first grade.
I did it at a roller rink.
It used to embarrass me.
People would ask "what are you doing!"
When I didn't know what I was doing.
Mrs. Shelander saved me.
She was my third grade teacher.
I used to draw all over my math pages...and after she gave my ear a good twist and made me promise not to do it again, She started setting aside some of class free time for me to draw.
She entered my art in a school "Reading is fundamental" poster contest...that I won.
I never spaced out when I drew.
The details helped me focus.
It was my chance to focus.
In my mind everything is equally relevant.
The fly buzzing around my head...the sun shining off the bumper of the car, the weed whacker across the street, the person who is talking to me.
The sound light bulbs make.
I focus sometimes by putting my hand up next to my eye and leaning..blocking out sound.
Or by watching a person's lips.
I have to have comfortable clothes.
sock seams drive me crazy etc.
My house is very quiet.
I structure my world in a way that helps me focus.
No tv. et al.
You know though, my extreme levels of perception help me sort through problems well.
I can pick out the missing piece...or the erroneous idea...
My biggest weakness had turned into my biggest strength.
Say your biggest weakness is impatience.
I would be willing to bet your biggest strength is jumping in and getting things done.
I could go on and on.
Think about your biggest weakness.
It no doubt makes your biggest strength possible.
Be appreciative of yourselves and your unique gifts.
I stopped my spells by focusing.
All those years of focus helped prepare me for my weight loss.
And now it is preparing me to do something with my art.
The haze preceding a spell is very similar to the haze you have just before a binge.
When you decide to let your mind slip.
So, if you want to keep your mind in the right place.
Print off pictures of bodies you would like...or maybe places you would want to go to...and tape them on the door of your kitchen cabinets....on the front of your fridge etc.
It will help you focus. Keep your goals front and center.
It will help you through rough spots.
Have a wonderful night guys,