not sure I want to touch that one with a ten foot pole.
today was not a good day mentally.
When you start thinking in circles it is time to not think.
money, crap, housework..money, crap, housework.
Call my mom...think about how often I see her vs. how often I don't.
Think of my friends and how few I really have (not counting you guys)
I mean, short of hunting friends down....how do you go about finding them..take out an ad in the yellow pages.
Then I f I had more than one or two, what would I do with them...it's not like I have time NOW.
I didn't draw last night because I ended up doing laundry.
I still have to write out my week at homeschool but am on here instead blabbing.
I did okay today but still had too many calories...I'd stick to the format but BLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH
I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.
It's like I have too much to do and not enough to do.
too much bs. Not enough crap that means something.
I went to church today and I guess I can just blame this whole mind melt on the preacher.
I want to pull a mother theresa. But I have laundry to do.
And what does it profit a man if he gains the WHOLE WORLD and loses his soul.
I feel like most of me wants to live there all the time.
I wish sometimes that I had become a nun.
Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and I love my husband.
It just seems like it would be easier to really understand where God is coming from if all you did was talk to him and wait to hear from him.
I get five minutes in a closet before I hear screaming from the other room.
And don't I know that God is talking to me through my children..I get that.
I am learning about the nature of God all the time through my family...I just feel like I can't ever get caught up with what I am supposed to know because I never have time to sit down and let it SINK IN.
I am missing 'quiet time'.
I am lucky to get exercise time.
Drawing time is limited.
I think this is the precursor to dumb jock syndrome.
there are so many hours in a day.
Let me just stop and say something right here.
losing weight and Getting to the point where you are no longer ridiculed is awesome.
If you are single, it's great.
Men notice you...they laugh, they flirt etc.
If you are married it is nice at first.
Hey...you know if something were to happen you are still in the game.
But after a while
It beats the doors in your face, but I am happily married.
I don't care if fartsy mcfartsalot likes me.
I got a husband.
So It's down to feeling healthy and finding balance.
I don't need or want to put in the kind of time getting jillian micheal's body is going to take.
Which would be two hours a day minimum.
maybe some have that kind of time.
One hour six days a week.
That is the time i am willing to put in.
1500 to 1600 a day in calories.
That is what i am willing to eat most days.
On special occasions I will eat more...probably no counting on turkey day and on christmas...on my birthday and a few other special occasions.
But that's it.
learning how to live within those boundaries is where I need to be.
Getting much closer to God...Necessary.
Doing my art...necessary
quiet time ABSOLUTE NECCESSITY.
Just got to find the time.
Have a great night guys.