4.08.2010

Is weight loss worth it?

Yes.

I would like to type...'Have a great night folks!" and have done with it right here..

But you and I both know it isn't that easy.

Somedays it DOES NOT feel worth it.
Somedays it feels worth it but ENDLESS.
Somedays it feels worth it and GLORIOUS.

I have to say, those glorious days take a while.
Even then they are outnumbered by the tedious ones...and the downright crappy ones aren't as numerous as the tedious, but they are all too frequent.
When you first start, it feels impossible.
You have tried before..or maybe you have never really tried...one of those.
You can't imagine your body as anything other than what it currently is...FAT.

Yeah you have been in shape, in the shape of an ellipse...
But never have you felt the wind whip through your hair as you were running, or cycling. The only wind you have felt was as you rolled down your car window pulling through the drive thru.
You have stared in envy as the size 8 in front of you complains about her "tummy pudge'.
All the while desperately staring down, hoping to catch a glimpse of your toes.

The worst part, (if you were as fat as I was...or are as fat as I once was) is to go around exercising and eating right for almost 5 months and still be considered fat enough to mock or condescend to.
Cause when you are 262 lbs and 5 '3 inches tall...and then are 205 lbs and 5'3 inches tall people still assume you want ranch on that, or that you don't exercise.
It's frustrating.
Cause you are feeling pretty good.
It's enough to make you want to quit.
For a second.
Then you remember what it was like before you started.
At least now, even if no-one else respects you..you respect yourself.
And you have lost 5, 10 or 20 lbs.
It adds up.
Saying no to that pizza is hard.
So is living your life with no sense of accomplishment.
Feeling crappy because you can't seem to control this one area of your life.
That is harder.
In the end.
Because in the end we all come to an end.
We want to look back and feel like we lived the life we were supposed to live, not the life we settled for.
Right?
An oreo isn't worth it.
No food tastes as good as self respect feels.
Chris out.

19 comments:

Morgan said...

"No food tastes as good as self respect feels."

I so agree with you there - but you have to feel that self-respect in order to believe it. And even then, it can be a battle to hold onto that feeling and use it as a defense against eating mindlessly. Thank you for the reminder.

Brenda said...

It's amazing the gamet of emotions one goes thru in their weight loss journey.
Putting of 'til tomorrow what I need and should do today has been my biggest battle in trying to lose these last pounds I'd like to get rid of forever.
One thing a friend told me, which helped and is so simple is 'something you don't eat has zero calories'! Made me think more and choose what I was going to consume and decide if it's worth it or not.

The_Exquisite_Christine said...

"No food tastes as good as self respect feels."

That is what kept me going, even when ppl where still looking at me like "Do you want ranch on that, fatty?"

That is what it took. Learning that self respect TASTES THIS GOOD!!!

It's definately worth it. ♥

Karla said...

"We want to look back and feel like we lived the life we were supposed to live, not the life we settled for."

I don't want to settle, I want to feel alive inside this body, only get this chance, and we need to make the most of it!! I loved your post, very very insightful

Rettakat said...

"No food tastes as good as self respect feels."

Love that, Chris. Cuz sometimes the only respect I get in the real world IS from myself!

I've lost 110 lbs... and still weigh 350 lbs... so yeah, it can be frustrating. Sometimes I want to wear a sign around my neck when I go out, just to deflect some of the judgements!

So how we feel about ourselves is critical, because sometimes we just are NOT going to get it from others. Goes back to that saying about being our own best friend...

Loretta
=^..^=

Tammy said...

Amen sister. :)

South Beach Steve said...

I like your one word answer - Yes. Of course, it isn't that easy. It is definitely worth it.

Helen said...

I think remembering that it's worth it is the hard part. My questions would be why do we have such short term memory when it comes to this whole thing? Why can't we/don't we latch on to that GLORIOUS feeling and just keep going and not suffer setback? It's a mystery.

Laura said...

There are so many things in this post that just hit home. I feel great right now, I feel like my body is working hard and being fed appropriately, I have no shame about my behavior. But, I still have tons of shame about my body. Patience has never been my strong suit, and patience is what I need. Eventually, if I keep working hard and keep making good choices, my outside will reflect my inside. Nothing about this changing lifestlye is easy yet, but you're right, I don't want to settle. Thanks Chris.

anne h said...

I read this last night.
Again today.
And yes, I do want Ranch on that.
And yes, I do work-out.
And yes, it is worth it!
If not, I'll be no worse off than I am now, eh?

Seth said...

It is so worth it.

Diff. Subject - you are almost at 200 followers!

Robin said...

There is nothing better than self-respect. Nothing. I gave mine away when I married my ex-husband. It didn't result in a weight gain. I got migraines. You give pieces of yourself away until you become unrecognizable even to yourself. I remember when he'd want to do something that I knew we couldn't afford (which would mean taking money out of my savings accrued before we were married)and I'd say "no" and he'd keep at me until he cranked my migraine high enough until I said "yes." He didn't see that as abuse. Eventually I just said "yes" right away because he was the hammer and I was the nail, and he was going to keep pounding away until he got the answer he wanted. There were so many reasons to leave. He was my oreos, ice cream, etc. But I was determined to rescue his damaged and broken kids, not recognizing that I was becoming damaged and broken in the process. Food is toxic, but so are some people. I still try to help out his kids from a distance, but I see now that there is very little that I can do, and I can only take all of the cookies, whip cream, and toxic donuts that he serves in small doses. I am note sure how that relates to your blog but it was what came to my mind....

Robin said...

There is nothing better than self-respect. Nothing. I gave mine away when I married my ex-husband. It didn't result in a weight gain. I got migraines. You give pieces of yourself away until you become unrecognizable even to yourself. I remember when he'd want to do something that I knew we couldn't afford (which would mean taking money out of my savings accrued before we were married)and I'd say "no" and he'd keep at me until he cranked my migraine high enough until I said "yes." He didn't see that as abuse. Eventually I just said "yes" right away because he was the hammer and I was the nail, and he was going to keep pounding away until he got the answer he wanted. There were so many reasons to leave. He was my oreos, ice cream, etc. But I was determined to rescue his damaged and broken kids, not recognizing that I was becoming damaged and broken in the process. Food is toxic, but so are some people. I still try to help out his kids from a distance, but I see now that there is very little that I can do, and I can only take all of the cookies, whip cream, and toxic donuts that he serves in small doses. I am note sure how that relates to your blog but it was what came to my mind....

M Pax said...

YES! It is worth it. Every crappy moment is worth it.

I no longer want Oreos. Yuck! Honest. Like you said, it takes time.

But living life and loving it is worth it. So, so, so, so, so much better than settling and hiding.

Linda Pressman said...

What a great spin on a slogan I first heard in Weight Watchers (Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels) but that always felt somewhat inadequate and not enough to keep me from overeating. But Nothing tastes as good as self-respect feels? That's something I can feel all the way into my soul.
Cool, Chris.

seattlerunnergirl said...

Chris, what an eloquent post. I am bookmarking this one to read on the days when it *doesn't* feel worth it. Lord knows there are plenty of those, and I am waiting and hoping for the glorious days you speak of. But you're so right - NOTHING, no indulgence, no food, can possibly be as good as the feeling that you have respected yourself enough to do the healthy thing. Thanks for the reminder.

Tara said...

I love you.

Not in that "oh I'm gonna stalk you" crazy kind of way.

More like that look across the room and see someone that understands exactly where I'm coming from kind of way.

Thanks Chris for posting this.

outdoor.mom said...

"no food tastes as good as self respect feels" i was just saying that in my last post (in different words mind you)!! Amen :-) Cute shoes below too!!

Shane said...

Powerful Post Chris!