4.03.2010

When it gets hard....

That is when it's the most important.
I woke up this morning, stepped on the scale and it read 169.
I have a feeling my monthly visitor is coming soon..
I tried to tell myself to chill.

Today was hard.
I was hungry all day, I didn't want to take my L.A.W.
Heck, I even went to the park and played tag with my 8 year old.
I never could have done that before.
I fit down all the slides.
It didn't stop me from wanting peanut butter, and candy...and any other number of things.

I had to talk myself into my walk,
I had to keep talking myself out of eating more.
I just kept saying to myself...just go, just do it.
I got to the park at 5:40,
I walked....I saw some pretty birds...but at no point on this walk did I feel my usual pick up.
I just trudged through.
It showed.
I got in my car at 7:30.
yup, nearly two hours to complete a 5.6 mile hike.
Now there are some big hills and such..but nothing I haven't done in far less time.
So, I am driving myself off post...trying to talk myself out of grabbing peach gummies or peanut butter and chocolate...
And i heard this song...
And I remembered why I have to keep going.

I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls that hold me inside....
I want to reach out and touch the flame.

I want to live.
I started this whole thing...because I wanted to live.
Fully.
Without reservations
Without regrets.
So I go on...

18 comments:

Julie, The Accidental Fat Chick said...

I love it when some random thing pops up to stop me from totally derailing... songs are great for that!

Great job getting your hike in... even if you had to force yourself, at least you got out there & did it!

Rettakat said...

I have had many many days when I didn't feel it, but did it anyway... so I know what you mean.

I think that is when our roots go DOWN, deeper, and stronger, tapping into hidden sources. We get stronger inside, and can weather all kinds of storms because of these strong tap roots that were forged from sheer determination.

They weren't grown during the fun, fluffy and light-hearted times. Those are great, but feelings come and go.

Yeah... it's these get-out-of-my-way-or-I'll-run-right-over-you times that turn wimpy whiners into WARRIORS.

And you, Chris, are definitely a WARRIOR with true grit!

Loretta
=^..^=

Brenda said...

That's neat when that happens. Just gives us that extra umph to keep going and don't quit.
Happy Easter!

266 said...

You stick with it, soldier!!! You are better than that candy and peanut butter! You are worth more than anything eating them could possibly give you! Go read this post: http://chrislivessimple.blogspot.com/2010/02/catching-vision.html (it's one I have read more than once because I needed it's message - and thank you for that, once more). Great job trudging through... these are definitely the days to be the most proud of.

Tony The Pink Panda said...

I know the feeling oh so well. Good job transforming those urges into exercise though :).

Steph said...

well done on the excerise. i've now discovered walking wanted to go for one today but we've got true british easter weather here!!! RAIN!!!!!!!

Happy easter x

Connie R. said...

You showed true determination, and, clearly, you just won't quit. Awesome.

TJ said...

I know TOM will be knocking on my door soon too...jerk! lol

I love your attitude Chris! You are one of those bloggers that I just don't worry about. :) I know you will succeed! :)

Kimberley said...

Great job on getting your hike in even though you weren't feeling it!

Hardcore!

Paula Rodriguez said...

That's great that you can have that conversation in your head and switch things around--chosing the walk, choosing to love life and be alive in itvs. chocolate gummy bears and the couch... Love the ending of your post... without reservations, without regrets, so I go on. I'm gonna remember that as my day unfolds.

Happy Easter Chris. Just wanted to stop by and tell you how much your friendship means to me... I know we don't know each other personally but I love coming here.

The_Exquisite_Christine said...

Some days are just HARD like that, I find. But so are you, Chris. HARD AS NAILS!

Happy Easter, my friend. ♥

Amber said...

Glad you made yourself "do it". Those are the workouts that can make or break a good routine.
I bet today will be better!

Happy Easter!

Putz said...

ACTUALLY , WHEN I READ YOUR BLOG I FEEL SORRY YOU FEEL HUNGRY>>>>>>I GUESS I AM NOT AS FAR ALONG AS YOU ARE IN FEELING GOOD ABOUT MYSELF>>>>I SEEM TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF WHILE EATING SOMETHING I AM SURE I SHOULDN'T>>>I DON'T REALLY BELONG ON YOUR BLAG, ACTUALLY I AM HERE NOT BECAUSE YOU ARE TRYING TO LOSE WIGHT >>>I AM HERE BECAUSE YOU ARE FUNNY, CUTE AND FULL OF IT{GOOD WILL I MEAN}}}

Putz said...

o boy i am unlucky 13th comment>>>love the putz

Robin said...

I am so glad that you post these blogs. Everyone struggles. There are days that are just HARD. It helps to know that other people have those days. The victory posts are *easy* to write. The ones where it's all about a tough day are not so much, but they are important because we all have 'em. It's part of the journey. And I am pretty sure that pick me up song was U2, no? I love that song...

Oh, and thanks for stopping back by my blog. I got your comment. It means a lot when someone stops in again to post on the same blog. It means that something I said struck a chord. That's pretty cool. I think about your stuff after I leave your page too...

M said...

great job on doing it anyway :)

Linda Pressman said...

The really big success story is that it's not every day that you feel hungry or that you have to use huge amounts of willpower to resist the food. It's seldom now and that, in itself, is a miracle and a huge change.

As long as you know that those days will come and you have your handy tools ready to deal with them (exercise anyway, food you like but that are on program) you can wake up the next day, know that nothing's changed and move on with your life and living.

seattlerunnergirl said...

I'm a few days late on this, but thanks for sharing how you get through the hard days. I'm having a string of them lately, and today I'm saying "no more" to behaving badly just because it's hard.