That is when it's the most important.
I woke up this morning, stepped on the scale and it read 169.
I have a feeling my monthly visitor is coming soon..
I tried to tell myself to chill.
Today was hard.
I was hungry all day, I didn't want to take my L.A.W.
Heck, I even went to the park and played tag with my 8 year old.
I never could have done that before.
I fit down all the slides.
It didn't stop me from wanting peanut butter, and candy...and any other number of things.
I had to talk myself into my walk,
I had to keep talking myself out of eating more.
I just kept saying to myself...just go, just do it.
I got to the park at 5:40,
I walked....I saw some pretty birds...but at no point on this walk did I feel my usual pick up.
I just trudged through.
I got in my car at 7:30.
yup, nearly two hours to complete a 5.6 mile hike.
Now there are some big hills and such..but nothing I haven't done in far less time.
So, I am driving myself off post...trying to talk myself out of grabbing peach gummies or peanut butter and chocolate...
And i heard this song...
And I remembered why I have to keep going.
I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls that hold me inside....
I want to reach out and touch the flame.
I want to live.
I started this whole thing...because I wanted to live.
So I go on...