Remove the word 'choice'

That is what I did.
When I started my 'new life'.
My 'weight loss journey'.
My 'exercise regimen'.

I removed the word choice from my brain.
Good choices...That is Seans phrase...and it's a good one.
He uses it in the context of eating 1500 calories or less a day.
(now 1800 I think)
There was no choice to make about limiting calories.
His choices now all come within the confines of preset barriers to behavior.

So.
I eat daily.  I have to, there is no CHOICE.
I could choose not to eat..but that would be a stupid choice.
I am not cut out for anorexia anyway.
To me, before I paid any attention to what I was eating (or prior to May of last year)...
I thought I was exercising free will.
But I wasn't consciously choosing...I was shoveling in any old thing.
There was no thought involved unless it was bad thoughts about my body.
There were no parameters for my eating.
I started this whole journey with two paremeters.
One was "No more than 1800 calories a day"
(except for my one higher calorie day)
And the other was exercise for one hour a day, six days a week.

You may wonder..."Why does she go at it so hard all the time."
I choose to.
But also...the new parameters I set for myself is one hour of exercise minimum...six days a week.
Cardio suppresses the appetite.
That is why I do at least one hour a day.
I am not going to rely on my mythical willpower to get me through anything.
I have been there, done that..and .had the 3x tshirt.
Now, do I have choices...
yes.
I could chuck my paremeters and say...
"I refuse to be bound by artificial requirements such as calorie counting and exercising."
In fact...at one point that is how I lived my life.
Which was why I was so fat.
The point is..everything in life is a trade off.
I am willing to trade in parties in my mouth whenever, and wherever, and however I wanted...
To lose weight, feel healthy and whole...and to live again.

.
Here is my theory in a nutshell.
If you want success, if you want to win.
Half *ssed effort will not suffice.
Doing the minimum.  Going halfway.
Seeing what I can 'get by with'.
It's not how I roll.
Alix wanted to know why I do 210 situps three days a week.
It seems excessive.
I know she doesn't want me wearing myself out.
But for me...it's empowering.
It's liberating.
It shows ME who is the boss.
Like I said before.
Before I start I say OUT LOUD:
"To discipline the mind and the body".
It is a deliberate act of the will.
I do it when I am sick and when I am healthy.
It is me controlling my destiny.
There is no 'choice' to be made.
I have decided that this is who I am and this is what I do.
I eat to live.
I exercise to train my body.
I don't need any qualifiers...there is no second option.
To give myself another option is to cheat myself, my spouse and my children out of the kind of mother I am capable of being.
I refuse to do that.
It's all in my hands.
What I can control I will control.
No excuses.
Hugs,
Chris